Michael Vick,

Oh boy do I have issues with you,you may need to grab a drink before you read this.

So, your hand is bruised? Awww, poor baby. A bruised hand that leaves your Sunday home game against the 49ers in question. A bruised hand that is not even your THROWING hand. I mean really????

Now, if I may, lets take a look back to everything you did to your poor innocent animals when they could not perform well. Oh where do we start…drowning, electrocuteing, strangling your animals because they could not perform well?!?!

Hmmmm. Do I see a little bit of karma here.

I am a die hard NY GIANTS fan (you know, the team that kicked your @ass Sunday) I would LOVE for one of my guys to go after you because you did not perform well….or better yet, one of YOUR own guys.

I mean that’s what you did to your animals….right????

Suck it up. A bruised hand that is not even your throwing hand…..if nothing else do it for your innocent animals that have suffered and lost their life because of YOU!!!

You need to seriously find some way to make some kind of amends. Right now, you are not there. What’s more important to you, you keeping your job or you keeping your respect?

Respect is earned, you have a lot of work to do.

~Jennifer

The husband had just come home from burying his family dog. A dog that weighed at least 150pounds. The husband needed a much needed shower, and possibly a drink.

After his shower, it was my turn to go get ready, hair, makeup, you know the routine.

While I was in the bathroom, minding my own business, trying every attempt imaginable to get my makeup to make me look younger, I innocently noticed my husbands wallet sitting on the edge of the counter.

I do not remember the order of the next few events but it went something like this.

1. “Somehow” the wallet fell off the counter.
2. I scrambled to pick up all of its contents as fast as I could
3. One of the items in the wallet stuck out at me.
4. I possibly had a mini breakdown.

My husband works in a job where he works closely with vendors, think Frito Lay, Coke, Pepsi, that one popular bread company. Mainly food and beverage vendors.

He does not work with any vendors who deal with “Deep Massage”

and this is where the mini breakdown may have come into play.

This particular “business card” was for Deep Massage by Tracy.

Uh-huh!

Now, since I am the type of person who never thinks logically under stress, I had all types of scenarios going through my mind, and most of them are x-rated.

But…I trust my husband. I knew there had to be some logical explanation on why he had a business card from Tracy that offers Deep Massage.

I just had to figure out what it was.

I quickly finish up my makeup, thinking of the best way to approach this. I mean he just buried his dog, it’s not like I can come storming out of the bathroom ready for a show down.

Well, I guess I could.

Because no matter how much I tried to tell myself I was over reacting, there was no good reason in my mind why he would have a “Deep Massage” card from “Tracy” in his wallet.

So, in pure Jen form, I leave the bathroom ready for a confrontation.

I know, I know.

My husband is sitting on the sofa playing the stupid x-box (there’s something new, right?)

“Yeah, so do you want to tell me why you have a card in your wallet from some female that is offering a deep massage?!?!?

He starts laughing!! I thought maybe he would try to play dumb like “I have no idea what you are talking about” or the ever popular “Oh that is so old, I have had that in there since before you and I met”. Anything would have been better than laughing, because laughter tells me he knows exactly what I am talking about.

“What’s so funny? Your laughing, you’re seriously laughing right now, your wife just found a deep massage card in your wallet from a female and your laughing….and still playing the x-box!”

He finally gets a clue and turns off the game.

“No no, it’s not like that, Tracy is a guy”

“Yeah, how dumb do you think I am, there is a web site on here, I will go check it out now”

“I hope you do, I used to work with Tracy at the old store and when he left the store he gave me his side business card to contact him if the new store ever decides to hire him….I am sorry, I should have told you about that…plus…Tracy is a guys name”

Now I am not sure if I should feel relieved or dumb. I am thinking the latter.

“Tracy is not a guys name, it is a girls name”

Yes, I am well aware that Tracy can be both a guy and girls name, but right now it is more important for me to save whatever kind of dignity I may have left.

My husband, is still laughing for some dumb reason.

So, in my best hissy fit mode, I dramatically get on the computer and type in the web address that is on the card.

Uh-oh.

Hmmmmm.

Well, Okay, Tracy is indeed a male

and……

it also seems that Tracy is gay.

I look at my husband, who is STILL laughing, I look back at the computer screen

“Okay, so now do I need to worry that you may be switching teams on me?”

Yeah, I just do not know how to stop.

Another long day at work.

I do not ever think I will get used to coming home to a quiet house. No one to cook dinner for, no husband coming through the front door tired from his long day at work. Even Edward, my black lab, no longer welcomes me with smelly dog kisses. He will just look up at me from his favorite spot on the sofa and then just as quickly go back to sleep.

My youngest son left me a message, I will call him back tomorrow. It’s too late to call him now.

I miss my husband, I miss my kids, I miss how my life once was.

“Edward…you hungry? Ready to eat?”

Nothing.

Who am I kidding, do I really feel like cooking right now? Truth be told all I want to do is take a shower, curl up on the sofa and watch The Notebook. Before my husband passed away, the movie of choice was Braveheart. He hated The Notebook, always said “no guy is like that”. Me, I always hated Braveheart, and now I would give anything to be able to watch it with him again. Since his passing, I have not been able to watch it. I would only watch it as a favour to him, as a “Even though you are gone, I still watch your movies” but, not yet, it’s too soon. I’ll stick w/ The Notebook so I can picture him up in heaven rolling his eyes at me.

The shower felt good, vodka would feel even better. Maybe I have some in the fridge.

My kitchen is clean, too clean. It does not feel like a lived in kitchen. There are no dirty dishes in the sink, no notes on the fridge, no spilled koolaide on the counters. My kitchen is depressing. Perhaps it is time to sell the house. I know the kids want me to keep it, but being that they all live out of state, I could sell the house and they would have no idea.

I decide to skip dinner, instead, I head over to ever familiar spot on my dvd rack. We….I mean I have over 75 dvd’s. A collection my husband and I started a few years ago. The top rack has our favorites, Braveheart, The Notebook, Goodfellas, Legends of the Fall, Transformers, you get the point, and certainly you can tell which movie belongs to who.

I miss my husband.

I’m going to do it, I’m going to watch Braveheart. It’s time. Hesitantly, I take the dvd from the case. Just doing that brings tears to my eyes. I can already feel my husband looking down on me “What?? are you really going to watch it? So all it took was for me to die to get you to watch my movie?”

Laughter and tears, an interesting combination. As I open the dvd a piece of paper falls out. It gracefully makes it’s way under the t.v stand. On my hands and knees I try to reach it, it is just barely out of my reach, and then, just before giving up, I am able to grab it.

No. No. No. No. No. No.

This piece of paper is a letter my husband wrote to me, actually, not just a letter, that does not do it justice. This was the letter where my husband proposed to me.

“Dear Jess,

I know you’re in the other room getting ready for our big night out. I also know that as history has proven, I am going to be here for awhile waiting for you to get ready. I just have one question for you. Would you please do me the honour of becoming my wife? Check yes or no”
and then, on the very bottom, after the little “yes” and “no” box, there was a new note, one that had been written more recent.

“Dear Jess,
If you find this, I just want you to know that I told you so, I told you that eventually you would watch Braveheart on your own. You would come to enjoy it and see it for the classic work of art that it really is, and I love you. I love you in life and I love you in death, and one way or another, I will find a way to show you how much I do love you, now go watch the movie”
Edward comes over to me. He senses what is about to take place. He lays his head on my lap, and I bury my head into his back. I needed this, I had forgotten all about the proposal letter. In fact I had thought I lost it some years back. He knew. My husband knew what I needed and at just the right time. God how I love him. Even in death he is still going to try to one up me, even in death he is letting me know he loves me.

Edward and I must have sat there a good 45 minutes. Me crying and Edward trying to lick my tears away. I got it out, I got it all out. I safely tucked the letter back in the case,then I made my way to the sofa, grabbed my favorite quilt, sat back and truly watched Braveheart for the first time ever.

This was a writing prompt from The Red Dress Club
You or your character find a forgotten letter or card from someone important in your life–whether good or bad. What does it say? How does it affect you or your character? What is done with it?

There was about a three year period when my mother went through her “Yearly Christmas Newsletter” phase. I had thought I had blocked that little piece of history from my mind until today, when I was cleaning and came across an old box full of memories….and what is now known as “The Infamous Christmas Newsletter of 2004”.

Sigh.

Little bit of background. I promise, just a little, just enough to keep you up to speed and the nightmares at bay.

I come from a blended family (much better this way). So the “characters” in this little story of mine (which also happens to be my life) are as follows…..although I suppose I should change names to protect the innocent.

Julia~ The Mother
Garret~ The Step Dad
John~ The Stepbrother (who later became my husband, and then my ex husband)
Amy~ The Stepsister
Karen~ My youngest sister
Carol~ The middle sister, and also the perfect one who can do no wrong.

Up to speed?

Soooooo, after reading FIVE pages of The Infamous Christmas Newsletter of 2004″ about my mother and step dad (cruises, trips to NY, some kind of hunting fiasco they have going on in the south, and church functions)it was time to get to the “children” (which at this time, we were all safely in our 20’s)

Jennifer (that’s me)is living in WA State. Rumour has it there is a second grandchild, I have yet to seen pictures.

John is living in VA

Amy is also living somewhere in WA State, she does not talk to us, so we have no idea exactly where in WA State she is.

Karen is living with John in VA.

Carol continues to do an amazing job of raising my grand daughter. I am so proud of her,there is nothing I would not do for her. She has become an exceptional wife and mother, just as I always knew she would.

and there ya have it folks!

I decided on my next therapy session, I am just going to bring The Infamous Christmas Newsletter of 2004″ and my therapist will

1. prescribe me some stronger meds

2. gently explain to me that I am a much harder case than originally anticipated and refer me to someone else

3. give me a refund, as, there is no hope for me.

Day 18 – A picture of you when you were little.

Day 17 – A picture of your biggest insecurity.

Enough said on this one too.

Day 16 – A picture of the person you do the silliest things with

For those that do not know, this is my sister Carolyn. Even though we have not seen eachother in 5 years, and she has not met Sofia, and I have not met her youngest, we talk many times during the days/week. Even on the phone are antics are that reminiscent of something Lucy and Ethel would pull…or Lavene and Shirley….when you least expect it, we are always up to something!

Day 15 – A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently.

Of course I had to use the cats for this one. This has been quite the journey, both cats not in the best of health,taking them to and from the vet, not knowing how much time Sam is going to last, seeing the family come together to do what needs to be done for the cats.

Day 14 – A picture of someone who inspires you.

My friend Lisa and I are doing the 30 day picture challenge together, and I knew both of us would have the same picture for today. For those that do not know, this is my niece Alyssa. She was 6 yrs old when a car accident left her in a wheelchair. 13 operations, punk kids bullying her at …school, moves across country more times than she cares to admit, she still keeps going, and going, and going. She is an inspiration not only to me, but everyone who has the pleassure of getting to know her. That’s not to say that she does not have her moment…..after all, she is a 17 yr old teenager now, and well….you know how that goes!