There was about a three year period when my mother went through her “Yearly Christmas Newsletter” phase. I had thought I had blocked that little piece of history from my mind until today, when I was cleaning and came across an old box full of memories….and what is now known as “The Infamous Christmas Newsletter of 2004”.
Sigh.
Little bit of background. I promise, just a little, just enough to keep you up to speed and the nightmares at bay.
I come from a blended family (much better this way). So the “characters” in this little story of mine (which also happens to be my life) are as follows…..although I suppose I should change names to protect the innocent.
Julia~ The Mother
Garret~ The Step Dad
John~ The Stepbrother (who later became my husband, and then my ex husband)
Amy~ The Stepsister
Karen~ My youngest sister
Carol~ The middle sister, and also the perfect one who can do no wrong.
Up to speed?
Soooooo, after reading FIVE pages of The Infamous Christmas Newsletter of 2004″ about my mother and step dad (cruises, trips to NY, some kind of hunting fiasco they have going on in the south, and church functions)it was time to get to the “children” (which at this time, we were all safely in our 20’s)
Jennifer (that’s me)is living in WA State. Rumour has it there is a second grandchild, I have yet to seen pictures.
John is living in VA
Amy is also living somewhere in WA State, she does not talk to us, so we have no idea exactly where in WA State she is.
Karen is living with John in VA.
Carol continues to do an amazing job of raising my grand daughter. I am so proud of her,there is nothing I would not do for her. She has become an exceptional wife and mother, just as I always knew she would.
and there ya have it folks!
I decided on my next therapy session, I am just going to bring The Infamous Christmas Newsletter of 2004″ and my therapist will
1. prescribe me some stronger meds
2. gently explain to me that I am a much harder case than originally anticipated and refer me to someone else
3. give me a refund, as, there is no hope for me.
vodkacalling.com 
You're making that up, right??? That's not really what she said, is it? That is CRAZY. Hilarious (sorry to laugh at your pain), but crazy. My mom and step-dad do a Christmas letter as well. One year their dog had a significantly larger paragraph than my husband and I (that was before grandkids. Now he and I only get like a line). Anyway, we didn't care, but we teased her about it and she got SO mad. I hate Christmas letters…
LOL!! Gaby, I need to figure out how to reply to comments on here, but yes, she really said that. I was so close to taking pictures of the actual newsletter, but then I run the risk of her reading my blog and then I would get a lecture. You know how it goes……you literally made me LOL w/ the dog getting a larger paragraph than you.
My lord…… nightmares from the past!!! ( I remember those stupid newsletters)
I have to admit…we have a family friend that sends us a ten page Christmas Letter Newsletters every freaking year! It's filled with in-grown toenail, bloody incidents involving a blender, infected gerbil bites, bladder falling, gall stones large as a boulder stories. The Christmas season truly begins when this family friend's letter arrives in the mail. Full of great stuff I couldn't in my wildest imagination make up. Hang in there Vodka Sister. It only gets better! Come hang out with me in my blogging sandbox. 😉
Thankfully my parents never did those yet I still need therapy…figure that out