This past Saturday the girls and I had a “Girls Day.” We did lunch at Buffalo Wild Wings and then a little bit of shopping.
Both girls needed new underwear and bras. Now to you and me, that is a completely normal thing. To two teenage girls who have been a bit sheltered, me asking them to accompany me while we pick out their bra and underwear, is up there on the list of “Things Not to do With Your Teenage Daughters.”
And, it is not even the fact that I was there. Well okay, that is part of it, but even if I left them alone, staring at the walls of underwear, I would still have the same reaction from them, just on text.
“Mom, this is so embarrassing.””Mom, can we hurry up?””Mom, people are looking at us.” (No one was looking at us.)
I am standing there in front of the display, trying to be all cool and make them feel like this is nothing. Because it is not!
“Okay, Gracie you’re a small, Sofia I would go with medium, just look at the styles, make sure the size is right, and then we can go.”
I do not know, you would have thought I was walking them into their Highschool for the first day of school while giving them a hug and kiss in the hallway. They are standing there, close together, making sure no one could see them, trying to pretend they do not know me.
“You pick Mom, I do not care!”
Fine. So I grabbed two packages of underwear. Same style different size and we left.
Fast forward to tonight.
Lazy Sunday night. I am getting ready for my work week, The girls were catching up on their laundry.
I know what you may be thinking. “They can do their own laundry but can’t buy their own underwear?” I have no explanation other than this is clearly something we will be working on.
Me: Hey Sofia, did you ever try on your new underwear? Does it fit okay?
She gives me a death glare. Like a serious “how dare you” even ask me that question.
Me: What??!! What is wrong?????
Sofia: Mother, did…you…realize….that….you …bought…us….thongs?????????
Of course, Gracie comes out of her room at this exact moment. I am betting she was listening and did not want to miss the opportunity of seeing me squirm.
Sofia: The underwear you bought us, they are thongs!
Gracie: I kinda think that is inappropriate Mother.
Me: I mean, are you sure they are thongs?
Sofia: Would you like to see the box where it is clearly written in big letters THONG?
Okay, not my ideal choice of underwear for my daughters, but their reaction is like I just asked them to jump on the pole.
So now I feel like I have to kind of normalize thongs while making them feel comfortable (the girls, not the actual thong) while validating their feelings.
I am telling you, if this was a movie, I would be an Oscar contender,
Me: Well, okay, it is fine. All I will do is get you whatever kind of underwear you prefer. Not a big deal at all. And, just so you understand, there is nothing wrong with thongs at all. Many people wear them so they do not have a panty line, some people even wear them because they are more comfortable. Choosing to wear a thong is not sexual at all. It is all about personal preference.
Gracie: Do you wear a thong?
Me: Oh God no!!! But it would not be a “wrong” thing if I did.
Gracie: I do not like them. It is inappropriate for me to wear them.
Me: Noted.,,,,,,,but can I just point out if you guys were not rushing me I would have paid better attention.
Sofia: YOU BOUGHT US THONG UNDERWEAR. THERE IS NO GETTING OUT OF THIS. THIS IS WHAT YOU SHOULD POST TO FACEBOOK!!!!
Me: Oh, I am totally posting it to Facebook, but just so you know, I think most people would be on my side!
Fast forward a few hours later. Vinnie, my son, comes over to visit. Of course, I had to tell him the story. As I am telling him how I accidentally bought his sisters thong underwear, Vinnie is like “Moooooom, I can’t hear this!”
Sofia comes into the room and is like “You told Vinnie??!!!
Dude, you told me I could post it to Facebook!
“Yeah, Facebook. Not meant for you to tell my brother.”
I mean was I like this at their age?
So now, basically, any holiday from here on out, those two are getting thongs for presents.
Just because I can.