Jen’s an Idiot.

I am not sure what to even title this post. Something along the lines of “Jen’s an Idiot” will suffice.
Last week Joe and I were just hanging out, enjoying our night. With a few drinks in us, and music on the t.v we went down memory lane. He was telling me some story in our past that I do not even remember, I mean this gist of the story, the very important part of the story was how he thought I “looked hot in the red flannel.” Again, I do not even remember the story. But I do remember my red flannel. The most comfortable over shirt that I kept from my days as an early grunge girl in Seattle.

Somewhere over the years, I lost the red flannel. I suppose there is a small chance that I may have outgrown it as well.

Well, the other night I had one of my “brilliant ideas.” I went on Amazon at like 2:am in search of a red flannel. Not just any red flannel, it had to be a very close replica of the original red flannel. You know, the one he said I looked “hot” in.

I am not even sure what my line of thinking was. Okay, well I kinda do. Perhaps I was hoping to pull off the new flannel as the old flannel, just to see if it would evoke the same reaction in him again. After 17 years of being together, a girl still needs to know she has “it.”
So I am on Amazon. Now, perhaps where I went wrong is, I was looking at flannels for men. “Well, that’s okay, I do like them a little big.”

Now, my typical size in ladies is large. Since I wanted the flannel to be oversized, I figured I should order an extra-large. Makes sense, right? Then I thought “Hmm, maybe I should go up a size just in case it shrinks after washing.” So, I decided on a 2x in mens.
I am sure you guys can see where this is going, However, I had no clue where I went wrong until today when Amazon dropped off my package.
Excitedly, I opened the package in hopes to recreate a moment from years ago where my husband thought I looked hot, and instead I received Paul Bunyan’s flannel.

I do not even know what to say at this point. You guys, the flannel goes past my knees!
That’s not exactly a “hot” look, that’s a, well, a, hell, I do not even know what kind of look that is! 
Actually, it is a Paul Bunyan look.
So as I am sitting here writing this post, I have my Paul Bunyan flannel in the dryer, hoping to God it will shrink about three sizes.

It won’t.

And although I love a good challenge, I really do not think there is any way in hell I can fix this.

In fact, I am willing to bet, tomorrow morning when Joe sees me wearing the Paul Bunyan flannel,  he will most likely assume I am sick or threw my back out again, and just had no energy to get dressed.

So the lesson here, I pretty much need to stay off of Amazon.


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