Playing With Fire

It’s Thursday, which means another round of Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop

The prompt I chose…

Tell a story (based on truth or fiction) where someone is playing with fire–literally or metaphorically–and probably shouldn’t be.

Mama’s Losin’ ItWhen I was my late 20’s I was nowhere near where I thought I should be, A single mom of two little boys living with two awesome roommates. I had just gotten out of a very abusive relationship, and even though that was not only the best thing for me, but also the best things for my kids, I felt lost. I was lonely. I felt broken.

My roommate, my very gay roommate, Alphonso introduced me to the show Sex and the City. You guys remember that show, right? He made me watch it as a form of therapy. I saw Carrie and Big break up,I saw Carrie and Aidan breakup and makeup up and then breakup again, Miranda and her tough as nails I am an independent woman personality, Charlotte waiting for her Prince Charming, Samantha and her love of sex from the opposite sex (except that one time with the female artist.) It was a very therapeutic show.

When I first started watching, it was clear I was Charlotte, I had faith that dreams do come true and my Prince Charming was out there. I just hit a bump in the road. Then, the longer I watched, something shifted in me. I no longer wanted to be Charlotte, I wanted to be Samantha. I wanted to be sexy, confident, I wanted to know what it was like to walk into a bar and command the attention of the other male patrons, and, I will admit, I wanted to know what it was like to have a one night stand. And so, I decided right then and there that from this point on I was going to be Samantha. Good-bye Charlotte, hello Samantha!

I had informed my roommates of my new change. And, even though they may have secretly laughed at me behind my back, they were nothing but supportive. So we planned a night out, a night where I could finally embrace my Samantha.

There was a sitter lined up for the kids, while Alphonso, Christin and I headed out into the night, to find my new Samantha. I made sure to dress sexy, like Samantha. Not cute, not reserved, like I usually did, but sexy…..and when I say sexy all I mean is I did not have on one of my usual cover-up jackets on.

I am such a rebel.

We are at the bar, sitting back, having some drinks while listening to the cover band. Not bad, and here was my moment. I was going to go scope the place out, all by myself, no wing man, just me. I was confident, I was Samantha!

Slowly (and hopefully seductively, but probably not) I made my way, from the bar, to the dance floor, to the pool tables, just taking it in, taking all the men in, trying to find my prize. I was determined to make Samantha proud.

Ah-Ha! I saw a tall dark stranger, standing near the darts. I think he was checking me out, but my one too many long island ice teas may have fooled me. I made my way over to him, all by myself (which is something Charlotte would never do)and, thankfully,he initiates conversation, because between you and I, I have no idea what my opening line would have been. Most likely something corny like “Hi, what’s your sign” no joke.

So the tall dark stranger tells me how good I look in my jeans. Okay not the best compliment, but, still a compliment. He then orders me another drink, as if I need another. We sit down to the table, and he actually pulls the chair out for me. I thought that was cute, and so would Charlotte……but what about Samantha? Samantha would pull her own chair out, or, just sit on his lap. Tall Dark Stranger and I make small talk while sipping our drinks.

Then before I know it,he reaches over and kisses me. Not a peck on the cheek, but a full on tongue down my throat and all kiss. Charlotte would have been grossed out, Samantha would have loved it. Then, things got weird. It went from him kissing, to him touching areas that should not be touched unless I was married, or had a ring, none of which had happened. I mean I did not even remember his name.

In pure Charlotte form, I excuse myself and go to the restroom. I needed to regroup. I splash some water on my face, taking extra special care not to ruin my perfectly applied makeup, and next thing I know, Tall Dark Stranger is there, literally there, right behind me in the ladies restroom.

This was not good.

Thankfully, my parents did not raise no fool, and I was taught early on what to do in situations like that, and I did. My adrenaline was going. Screw Charlotte, screw Samantha, this is me, my life, my morals, my character and I fought the bastard off. One of the bouncers heard my screams, came into the ladies room and threw the Tall Dark Stranger Out.

I felt sick to my stomach. I came so close to being raped. All because I wanted to be like some stupid character on some stupid show.

This was a moment for me. I decided right then and there, I cannot be anyone else other than me.

I was playing with fire and by the grace of God, I did not get burn.

5 thoughts on “Playing With Fire

  1. Wow Vodka! That was a dangerous moment! I'm glad that those Long Island Ice Teas didn't impair your screaming. I think we've all…at least me..have played with some fire according to the character on the tv. There's nothing wrong with having morals like Charlotte. I'm glad you made it out ok;)

  2. Damn. Just…damn. There are so many things I want to say about how tv jades our perceptions (even as adults), how we look for the fairy tale that is written in movies but unlikely that perfect in real life. But I can't even get those things out because all I keep coming back to is damn. I'm glad it ended the way it did, but…damn.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s