The one about the turkey…

I had to finish up my Thanksgiving Day shopping today. This year, I am hosting Thanksgiving at my new apartment. I could not be any more excited and nervous. Do not worry though, my brother in law is coming over to make sure I do not screw up the bird. (And the world takes a collective sigh of relief.)

At my local grocery store, they have a deal where you spend 100.00 on groceries, you get a free turkey. Last week I spent 100.00, so I got my free turkey. Then, they had Butterball on sale for 98 cents a pound. I had to snatch that up as well. I am thinking ahead to Christmas dinner, or perhaps turkey sandwiches on New Years. Either way, I have two turkeys. So today when I spent another 100.00 on groceries, you guessed it, I got my third turkey.

Everything was fine, until Vinnie lugs the 20-pound bird up one long flight of stairs, barrels into the apartment, huffing, and puffing, while throwing the bird on the counter.

Joe ~ What’s going on?
Vinnie ~ Mom has lost her mind.
Joe ~ Another one?

It’s like these people do not even know me.

“It’s fine! I mean it was free. Who would turn down a free turkey??!!”

I start putting the groceries away. I open the freezer.

Hmmm. The freezer is packed. Between the Butterball turkey, my assortment of pies, and my usual groceries, there simply was no room for the brand new turkey.

I had only mere seconds to come up with a “Plan B” before I would hear the words “I TOLD YOU SO” from Joe and Vinnie.

Think Jen, think!

I quickly grabbed my newest free twenty-pound turkey and snuck out the front door.


There he was. Sitting on the stoop like always. I do not know his name. He is my neighbor. Kinda scary, kinda nice. Smokes a lot of weed, and is always arguing with our Landlord in the parking lot. He is the type of guy who knows everyone in the neighboorhood….because he is always home….or on the stoop. On occasion, you will find him arguing with an outsider. He seems to be a good enough guy who has been through a lot. May not always make the best choices, but really, who does? He has a very distinct voice. Throat cancer.

“Hey, hey, how ya doing? Ya need any bringing up your groceries?”

“Oh, no thank you! That’s what Vinnie is for. So, do you want a turkey? I have this turkey and it was free so…”

“You’re giving me a turkey?”

“Well, I mean only if you want it. I do not have room in my freezer and….”

“Yes, I will take it. My check is late and I did not have money for Thanksgiving. Thank you.”

“Oh please, it’s nothing, glad you can use it!”

“This is good, thank you. Happy Thanksgiving Babe!”

Now, between you and me, I am not too fond of people calling me “Babe” when I do not even know their name, but I can overlook that. I hope when he gets into one of his arguments with the “outsiders” he will remember that the girl who lives next door to him gave him a free turkey, so the drive-byes have to happen in another part of the complex. ya feel me?

I make my way back to my apartment.

Joe~ What did you do now?
Me ~ Nothing! I gave the turkey to our neighbor. See problem solved!
Joe ~ That’s cool, I like him, he seems like a good guy.
Me ~ Well, he called me babe, so you may have some competition.
Joe ~ I think I’ll be okay.

Now, the only thing I need to do is find a way to sneak the brand new Christmas tree in. This may take me some time.

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, Christin is giving away a 15.00 Starbucks gift card. If you are a long time reader of the blog, you know Christin and I have not always had it easy. Many times we wanted to help people, but we did not even have the fund to help ourselves. To enter the drawing please leave a comment either here or on the Vodka Calling Facebook page. Tell us your favorite Starbucks coffee drink, and your favorite Thanksgiving Day dish……with the exception of turkey.


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