Drinking while Facebooking.

Christin can always tell when I have had a few drinks while Facebooking. The tell-tale sign is I post music videos. Music videos of mostly 80’s music. Specifically The Karate Kid soundtrack. I mean if you were here, in my house, you would be lucky enough to see me do a dance routine to “You’re the Best.” The amazing song that was played in the last big fight of the Karate Kid. Screw you Cobra Kai!!

Remember the infamous episode of “Friends” where Monica and Ross do their dance routine at a New Years Eve party? That would be me, except I am in my living room and there is no dance partner….unless you count vodka. Which I do not.

Christin gets a kick out of it, kinda sorta at my expense. I mean it’s not like she will shoot me a text and say “Jen, you have had too much to drink, get off of Facebook.” Instead, she waits until the following day when we talk on the phone. “So who were you this time, Daniel or Ali.?” I am always Ali or at least my own version of Ali. Unless of course, I switch over to “Your Love” by The Outfield, in which case I take on a totally new personality. I am pretty proud of my 80’s dance moves.

Usually, what follows is something along the lines of “OMG YOU COULD TELL I WAS DRINKING ON FACEBOOK? WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME? to which I am met with “Remember when you signed me up on Plenty of Fish when you were drinking, well this is payback!”

So, as the story goes. “Apparently” one night, many years ago, I may have had a little too much to drink (in the safety of my own home!) and kinda sorta made Christin a dating profile on Plenty of Fish….and forgot to tell her. In my defense,  Christin was at a crossroads in her personal life, and just between you and I, she always attracted the losers. (Hello pot, meet kettle.)

Enter Me! I figured I was doing a good deed, helping my girl out. I would weed through the schmucks, and send any potential “good guys” her way. It was a perfect plan, executed by one too many diet cokes and vodka.

The plan was in motion. With a drink in hand, I call Christin (with The Karate Kid soundtrack playing in the background.

Me ~ “Hey! Just curious…..what is your ideal perfect date?”
Christin ~ “Ummm, I don’t know, maybe a jazz club. Why?”
Me ~ “Really? A jazz club? not dinner and a movie?”

Me ~ “So when you are at this jazz club, like what kind of guy are you with? Black, white? Tall,  short? Big, small?
Christin ~ “What the hell are you talking about?”
Me ~ “Nothing, call you back in a few!”

It’s funny how I remember sitting at my computer, SO EXCITED to make Christin a dating profile! Joe thinking I had lost my mind, while secretly hiding the vodka.

Yet…..somewhere in between me making her dating profile, and listening to Ac/Dc’s “You Shook Me All Night Long” I somehow forgot to tell Christin I had made said profile.

THREE DAYS LATER.

I am getting ready. Joe and I actually have a date night. This was back in the days before Gracie was sick and I had a babysitter. As I am applying my lipgloss with perfect ease, a song comes on the radio. Ac/Dc’s “You Shook Me All Night Long.”

Hmmm. Was there something I forgot to do? I grabbed my aqua net hairspray, sprayed it in my hair just as Joe was coming in the bathroom to check on me. As he is having a coughing attack, the lyrics “You shook me all night long” is playing on the radio, it hit me. I forgot to tell Christin that I made her a dating profile on Plenty of Fish.

Crap! I told Joe to go outside an have a smoke, to help clear his airways from my good ole hairspray, while I reached for the phone.

“Hello?”

“Hey! It’s me! Soooo, are you sitting down?”

“No…..should I be?”

“Ummm, probably…but do not get mad.”

“What did you do?”

“Nothing! Except, I kinda made you a dating profile on Plenty of Fish, because, well, you know. I used your email but I should be able to weed out the losers, so only respond to the ones I send you, not any other emails.”

“YOU DID WHAT?!?!”

“So I may have had a bit too much to drink the other night, but that’s okay, I get all my brilliant ideas when I am drinking, I just wanted to give you a heads up…..be open minded. I have to go, Joe and I are going to see the new Brad Pitt movie.”

It took a great deal of convincing on my part. I mean in my mind I was doing the what any good BFF would do. Helping my girl out! It took Christin a bit longer to see that.

This is why, to this day, when Christin sees me “drinking on Facebook” she does not say a word. Payback or whatever.

However…..let me just say that if you go on Plenty of Fish, you will be able to see the very profile I made for her. So….in the end…..I was kinda right.

Which means, maybe drinking and Facebooking is not a bad thing?!

drinkfacebook

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