I had to go to the grocery store today. A practice  I usually try to avoid on a Saturday afternoon, while my husband is at work and I am left to my own devices in dealing with the kids. We needed cat litter. There was just no way around it. I had to go. For some unknown reason, my kids love the deli food. I figured that would be how I bribe them. “If you are good, you get to pick out whatever kind of deli food you want.”

Yeah right. That lasted a whopping 45 seconds.

So I give to you 5 Reasons Why I Will Never Take My Kids To The Grocery Store. (Ever Again.)

1. I will spend more money. I will buy them the 4.00 box of cookies (cookies that are not even on my list!) just to keep them occupied while I make my way to the cat litter aisle.

2. I will somehow get injured. I figured my 10 year old could push the cart. It would (hopefully) keep her occupied, make her feel as if she has a very important job to do. This only works if I bypass the toy and candy aisle , while making my way to the kitty litter aisle.. Otherwise she will get distracted and ram the cart into my heel. Having a grocery cart rammed into your heel is right up there in pain wise as stepping on a lego.

3. I will waste a lot of time. What should be a quick 20 minute trip, has turned into an hour and twenty minutes. I mean why must we spend 10 minutes just deciding on a juice?!? I have cat litter that I need to buy!

4. I will get embarrassed. One would think by the ages of my kids, I am passed the stage of “getting embarrassed.”  Nope! When my kid decides to do a cartwheel in the frozen food aisle and her shoes come flying off her feet and slams into the Ben and Jerry’s ice cream case, heck yeah I get embarrassed. Plus, I love this particular store. I would also love to not get kicked out of it. Especially before I have a chance to buy my much needed cat litter.

5. I will forget to buy something that is on my list. You know, like the cat litter.