We have all been there before. I think.
Unless it is just me….and Christin.
You know the scenario. You are laying on the sofa, watching some Netflix on a lazy Sunday afternoon. You are still in your pajamas. No makeup and a messy bun. At 1 pm. There may be some sort of food stain on your t-shirt. Perhaps from breakfast, except you did not have pizza for breakfast, you had pizza for dinner last night. You make a mental note to definitely take a shower before episode 12 of “Desperate Housewives”, you may as well start a load of laundry too…later. You get comfortable on the sofa. Snuggled in blankets while your children seem to be okay in their room. I mean no noise is good, right? You take out your phone and start to scroll through Facebook, and see that your Facebook friends have been a little more productive than you have been.
“Just got back from Hawaii. I am so blessed.”
Great. Now I know my timeline will be occupied with 120 photos of Hawaii. I was good with the first 20.
“My husband is the best! He spoils me so much, I just love him to pieces.”
Yeah, he is sitting right next to you on the sofa. Come on now!
“Dylan made honor roll for the third time this year!”
Isn’t he in Kindergarten?
“We can do hard things!”
You are preaching to the choir, Sista!
As much as I try to use sarcasm to deflect from every day life, I find myself now questioning everything. Am I seriously the only one who does not live what seems to be this perfect life? My timeline reads more like a comedy than a fairytale.
“Gracie had another seizure today. Crap!”
“I burnt dinner……again”
“My cat almost tried to kill me, but it was an accident.”
“Does anyone have a sledgehammer I can borrow?”
“The Playstation is not working, I cannot imagine what happened to it?”
I mean if I read my friends post on Facebook and think to myself “What the hell am I doing wrong in this thing called life?” What do you think they think about my post?
“She puts way too much out there.”
“Just read her blog, it’s no wonder she ended up this way.”
“Some people may call this karma, not me, but some people.”
It’s both frustrating and eye-opening, until in a moment of weakness (I was out of chocolate) I realized, “Ya know, it’s not really about me, other people’s opinion of me is really none of my business.”
I don’t know, does that make sense?
Let’s see what Christin has to say about this topic!
I can relate to the whole “sitting in the pajamas at 1pm and opening Facebook to see someone’s fabulous life” experience. Unlike Jen, I don’t post a whole lot about my life. You can find pictures of my kids and their events but that’s about it. If I did post more, you may find out how I’m sitting at home on a Friday night finishing a paper or how I had to read a book about rocks for my Geology class. I’ll save everyone the boring details of the life of an almost 40-year-old college student. It lacks any fabulousness and spontaneity.
However, we all have those “Facebook friends” that have these glamorous lives.
1. “The Foodie” This person posts fancy pictures of their food. Not just breakfast but all three meals and dessert. They may even put it in a colorful collage to display everything that went in their mouth today. We don’t care that you ate tuna tar tar with brussels sprouts on top of lettuce. Save the effort of taking the picture and just eat your food.
2. “The Holy Roller” We get it. You love Jesus. I love Jesus too but preaching about how the Lord this and God that every single post is a little too much. Forcing your religious beliefs on everyone isn’t the way to go. Just remember “What Would Jesus Do?” He probably wouldn’t be on Facebook, just saying.
3. “Negative Nancy” My life sucks and all the people in my life hate me. We all have one of those people who looks at the glass half empty. Hell, these people complain about every little thing. You begin to wonder if they just got dealt a bad hand or they look for the bad in everything. I personally can’t have these people on my news feed and am very thankful for the “unfollow” button.
4. “Vague bookers” These are the people that have so much to say but don’t really say anything at all. For example, “I miss you and can’t wait until I see you tomorrow” First, you damn well know that everyone one is going to be asking who this fool is and what you are going to do tomorrow. So is it attention that you desperately need or do you think people give a shit because if I’m being honest, nobody really cares, they are just nosey and want to be all up in the business. Keep your vague booking for your diary, honey, because we don’t care.
5. “Showoffs” Yes, we get it..your life is perfect. You have the perfect spouse, kids, dog and job. Sunshine and butterflies all the time. Your life is but a dream but here’s the truth about you: You put all of your “perfection” all over FB because you are insecure. You have something to prove to somebody. It’s okay dear, you don’t have to hide the fact that your husband is having an affair, your kids are assholes and your dog poops in the neighbor’s yards. Just be honest, real life is more interesting than your fake persona and your pretty little pictures.
6. “Validators” These are people who want you to know everything they’ve ever done..for someone else. Case and point..”I gave a homeless man 10.00 today, I’m such a saint” These people want/need a pat on the back and 100 of their closest FB friends to tell them how great they are and what a wonderful thing they did. I’m all for giving to others but is it necessary to solicit the world to give you an “atta boy/girl”? Do things because you want to, not because you can’t wait until you get home to post it on FB.
7. “The Cleavage girl/ GQ guy” We get it. You are trying to be a Facebook model. Although I’m sure having 1,000 friends is a real ego booster, I’m sure most of those are just men that want to see the little that remains to be seen. For you guys that think that you sexy poses are going to get you into the next “Magic Mike”, I hate to break it to you but you are no Channing Tatum. I don’t care what lighting you use. Ladies, put your assets away and stop attracting those creepy 50-year-old men. Guys, although your six-pack is quite impressive, your cocky attitude is not. Put your shirt on and please for the love of God, go wash that streaky spray tan off.
At the end of the day, we are all real people with real problems. That’s just life. We learn as we go and we do the best we can with what we have, where we are at. There’s no need to put a façade of perfection because that’s all it is, a façade. Be real. Be you. Be transparent. God knows I have made my fair share of mistakes. I’ve written about most of my darkest days and I did that because I know somewhere out there, there is someone else that connect because they are in the midst of their darkest days. Somewhere in the middle of honesty, we find humanity, and that is what is most important.
So…clearly Christin had a lot of thoughts on this topic. Facebook is a wonderful means to keep in touch with family, friends who you may not see on a daily basis. Facebook is the perfect avenue to reconnect with childhood friends from your past. With all the complaining I do, Facebook definitely has it perks. I can post about Gracie having a seizure, and automatically the girls’ school knows they will not be in the following day. I have had heart to heart conversations with friends late at night on messenger. I have had a lot of laughs, and a few tears. Bottom line for me, well……I think my Dad summed it up best.
“You know what is truth? We are ALL pretty crappy people,with major issues and problems and insecurities. I know one wouldn’t get this from reading the majority of FB Posts where everyone has the perfect kids, the perfect spouse,the perfect home and the perfect job, etc. Clearly,that is mostly false.
What is beautiful to me are those that can admit their brokenness, their hurt , their insecurities and their pain and then have others that will hold them up; not with platitudes… but with understanding because they have walked the same road. There is plenty of evidence to convict us all of being “shit people”: that’s where Grace and love come in. Of course from God, but also from other transparent people who are not afraid of being honest.”