“When someone shows you who they are; believe them the first time.”
This particular blog post is three days in the making. Over the past three days, I have dealt with many different emotions. Anger. Hurt. Anger. Disappointment. Anger. And lastly, my all time favorite, Pity.
I use this blog, along with my personal Social Media accounts to share my life. The Good, The Bad, and The Crazy. I share it all. Many of you know this. A few of you have a problem with me doing so. It is at this point where I am going to advise you, if you are one of the few people who have a problem with me venting, sharing, and being a little too open, then you probably need to stop reading now. Seriously. Because the last thing I want to do is read a comment from someone who believes I over-share. I am giving you a way out now. I will wait. I will wait while you just exit this screen. You are welcome.
Now we can move on.
As the story goes, my brother and I were purposely excluded from a surprise 40th birthday party thrown for our sister. Now clearly to some (mainly the ones who I politely told to not read this post) they feel I need to “get over it.” Yeah…..well, that’s not happening. Not until I have my say.
The three of us siblings are close. Super close. I talk to my sister six days out of the week, every single week. I talk to my brother less often, only because he is a Naval Sailor and his job takes him out into the middle of the Pacific ocean often, and who knew wi-fi pretty much sucks out there?! The three of us siblings actually like each other. We get along. I mean I would completely understand not getting a birthday invite if I hated my sister. I would even understand if I disliked her. That is not the case, it seems I am just dealing with a special kind of crazy.
As tempted as I am to use the real name of the one who excluded my brother and I, I probably should come up with an alias name. Hmmmmm. What shall I call her? I suppose “Crazy Selfish Controlling Bitch” is a bit too long, so how about “Asil”. Yes, that is perfect. Asil it is.
There is a twenty year history between Asil and I. Some good, some not so good. A history that very few are privy to. Perhaps it is because I keep the history between us private that a few well-intentioned ones believe I should “get over this.” Or perhaps Asil has just worked her voodoo magic on some. Jury is still out on that one! I say this because this latest incident was the final straw. Not the beginning of the end, but the end of the beginning.
Asil had this surprise 40th birthday party planned for my sister for one year. I know this because “The Parents” were invited one year and five months ago. Asil invited every other family member you can imagine….from different states to this little shin dig, yet thought it wise to leave out the birthday girl’s own siblings. I have to wonder if Asil is partaking in any ganja? Or perhaps Asil needs to partake in some ganja to take the stick out of her……
In a Facebook group that was created for everyone going to the party, everyone that was invited to the party with the exception of my brother and I (seriously, check your Facebook Invites, I am sure you were invited as well) the question was asked specifically to Asil “Did you invite her brother?” Asil clearly stated, word for word (thank you to my Spy!) that in fact she did not invite my brother or myself to OUR SISTER’S surprise party. Reason being, she was worried we would ruin the surprise. Yes, I know, her “logic” is lost on me as well.
Let me explain something, and this is the most important thing that I would like to be a take-away from this post. Asil does not know my brother. She knows nothing about him. How is it that she can make that assumption that either he or I may spill the beans? She plain and simple did not want us there. I fully believe (along with a few others) that if my brother or I were there, it would have taken away from her moment, and Asil just craves the spotlight, the attention. Most likely because she does not get it from her own family, so she has to go all “Single White Female” and insert herself into mine.
This is what should have happened:
Asil sends a message to both my brother and I ~ Hey Ya’ll! I wanted you to know I am throwing your sister a surprise birthday for her 40th birthday. I do not know how likely it is that either one of your will be able to fly out. I know she would love to see you here, so I am extending you an invitation. If by chance you cannot make it, please, let’s keep this quiet until her party!
Pretty simple right? Not too complicated? Very tactful, very polite, but Nooooooooooo, that was not the case. That did not happen because we are dealing with a special kind of crazy.
This is what did happen.
Nothing! Nothing at all!!
My Spy told me about the party TWO WEEKS before the actual date.
Again, I have to ask, who has a surprise party and the does not invite the ones the guest is closest to?
Asil does, that’s who!
Now, of course, like any sane and rational person, I wanted to have the opportunity to message Asil, one on one, before the party and ask her “Hey, what’s going on, how come we were not invited, is there anything we can do to contribute?”
However, my Spy made me promise to not do such a thing.
Fine. So I sit, and I wait, and I silently watch my side of the family be excluded while everyone else is included.
So….the party happens, my sister is surprised, everyone thinks that Asil is something that you will find on the streets of gold in Heaven.
I then vent my frustrations, anger, and hurt on Facebook…….without using any names!!!!!!
And do you know what happens next? Asil then blocks me.
Of course she does.
I told you I am dealing with a “Single White Female” situation over here.
So, what will now happen, I will write an open letter to Asil. The odds of her reading it are slim to none. The odds of me caring are pretty much the same.
You were wrong. Many people can see that you made a very bad judgement call in not inviting my brother or I. I mean who does that? You clearly went out of your way to keep this a secret from us…for a year, and really, who are you to make that choice for my brother or myself? You did not even give us a chance to say “No, Sorry, cannot make it.” You made that choice for us. You were wrong.
Of course you will never admit this, because you never admit any wrong doings. Everything is everyone else’s fault. A few of us can see that, a few more are still drinking your kool-aide. Do you even realize how petty you made yourself look? A few of us are done with you. You did a WONDERFUL thing by planning this party, you also did a SHITTY thing by not including two very important people in my sister’s life.
After dealing with all my many emotions, Anger, oh you have no idea how much I wanted to call my sister and let her know the 411. My love for my sister is greater than the dislike I have for you.
I was dissappointed. I kept going back in time to a place where I felt like the black sheep, to a place where I was never included in anything, and for a brief moment you took me back to that place, until I grew strong enough to know that my love for myself is stronger than the dislike I have for you.
Then at the end of it all, I decided, well I decided , I pity you. I pity the fact that you seem to be so competitive between the relationship between my sister, brother and myself. I actually feel kinda bad that you had to lower yourself to this. My own sister even told me she was scanning the crowd for me. Thank you, thank you for taking away that moment.
I am sorry you do not have the same relationship with your sister that I do mine, but do not take your issues with your own family and insert them on mine. Because quite simply, you will not win.
Over and Out!