5 cookies and a lump

I was exhausted Friday night. It had been a very long day of running around. Even though my body was tired, mentally I was not ready to go to sleep. Joe however, did go to sleep early,  he had to be up at 3am. I was sitting on the sofa, watching “The Fosters” on Netflix, contemplating if I wanted three out of the five chocolate chip cookies that were calling my name from the kitchen table. Of course I wanted the cookies. Usually, at this point I would talk myself out of devouring them in mere minutes. Not this time. I absolutely deserved those decadent chocolate chip cookies. I was going to take them all. All five would be mine, forget having just three, and I will not feel guilty at all.

I found a lump. Not on the cookies mind you, a lump on my underarm. It started out as something small. I figured I nicked myself shaving or something. I do that a lot. Except, two weeks later this lump was not going away. It was actually getting bigger, with a new pea size lump forming. Crap. Of course, in my rational state of mind, when realizing I now have one large lump and a new small one, I went to Google. I Googled every possible thing I could that pertained to lumps, and I did so while eating my chocolate chip cookies.

The thing is, it could be nothing (cyst) or as we all know, it could be “something.” Just knowing is could be “something” , already has me freaked out. I was putting the laundry away today, and out of the blue my mind took me to a place where I did not want to go.

“I have to write notes. Lots of notes, because if it is “something” then Joe will need notes. I will have to be specific on letting him know when to put the summer clothes away and when to bring out the winter clothes…and he will need to know that usually in the month of May, he will need to do summer shopping for the kids…..and the school uniforms, he will not be able to handle picking out the school uniforms….and if it is “something” then I have to write many many letters to my kids, but give them to a person who will take care of them, because it’s guranteed they will get lost in this house…….”

Clearly I am jumping the gun, but c’mon, you all know how I am now. I do not know if it is just me or not, but it is funny how your outlook may change when “something”could potentionally be wrong. Certain things seem different, definitely there are some things that do not even matter, and then others, well other things have now made their way to the top of the list.

This could either be the start of a new chapter in my life, or just a little detour. Either way I wanted to write about it. I did not want to forget the different kinds of emotions I have been having for the past few days, and since writing is kinda my thing, then you understand why I wanted to write about this way.

Also, and I am excited about this part. Right next door to my doctor’s office, a new skin care, laser service clinic just opened up…and I signed up for a free consultation! I will also be writing about that too.

~Jennifer

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