2012 will be my year for Blogging!!!

I know I have been slacking, but like I said 2012 will be my year. With that being said, I will leave you with an epic last post of 2011.

Pap smears!!

I am very pro-active with my health. I go to every appointment, make sure I am in tune with my body blah blah blah.

I was suppose to schedule my yearly pap smear right around Christmas, but, because my mind is all screwed up, I thought “Well I am just going to wait till the first of the year because god forbid the doctor finds out I have cancer, that would be a sucky Christmas”

yes folks, this is how my mind truly works.

So I scheduled my pap smear for January 5th. I am good to go….kind of.

I have had this doctor for eight plus years. He is awesome, and literally saved not only my life but my daughters. That makes me kind of loyal to him.

He has seen me at my worst, and at my best. I remember one time I was about 7 months pregnant with Sofia, went in for my usual checkup and he complimented my makeup.

Holla!!!!

And no, he is not some young hot doctor. He is older (late 60’s) and he hardly speaks English (Korean) but like I said he saved my life, my daughters life, and he said my makeup looked good, so he is a keeper.

After I had my oldest daughter, Gracie, I went in for my follow up checkup. “Oh Jennifer, it looks like you have some extra skin you need to lose”

So glad he pointed that out to me, otherwise I would have had no idea.

I lost the weight, went in for another pap smear a year later “Oh Jennifer, you slimmed down quite a bit, I would like to see you gain a couple pounds”

I took that as a compliment.

Then, just as I was feeling all good and sexy about myself, I get pregnant again.

Figures.

I go in for my third month pregnancy checkup. “Jennifer, you are not gaining enough weight, this needs to change”

Again, took that as a compliment, but realized that I had to gain some weight. Being that I was carrying a life inside me and all.

I fully took advantage of the m&m’s, Big Macs, and just about anything else that had carbs.

Went in for my fourth month pregnancy checkup. “Jennifer, you are gaining too much weight, you are only suppose to gain 45 pounds and you are already at the twenty pound mark, you have five months to go still”

Well crap!

Five months goes by, I gained weight, lots of weight, but refused to let my doctor tell me exactly how much weight I gained because I am no fool.

Had the baby, went in for my follow up checkup “Jennifer, looks like you still have some loose skin you need to lose, you should try sit ups.”

What a novel idea.

Another year goes by, baby is now one. Time for my pap smear. “Yes Jennifer, you have not been doing those sit ups have you?”

Just kill me now.

Three more years go by. “Very good Jennifer, you have been doing sit ups (totally have NOT been doing sit ups) I would like to see you maintain this weight”

Doctor obviously has no freakin idea what he is talking about, I need to lose at least twenty pounds.

And now, here we are. January 5th, time for another pap smear. And even though I weigh slightly less than my last weight he told me to maintain, that is just not good enough. I want to be ten pounds less.

If I can just lose five more pounds before January 5th then I will be one happy girl….and hopefully will hear the words “I need you to gain some weight” which I will not do but every girl wants to hear they need to gain some weight. (right??)

Most people want to lose weight to make themselves feel better, maybe even for their husbands, or some new guy/girl that has caught their eye. Not me folks, I want to lose weight for my gynecologist…..who is not even hot.

Yep, I never claimed to not have issues, but it is fun! My new challenge, lose five pounds in eight days. Can totally be done.

Then I will report back here with my gyno’s response.

And this folks was my last epic post of 2011. Stay tuned for 2012 for some serious blogging…unless of course my gynecologist informs me that I have cancer, then that will throw my plan all out the window.

Happy New Year!!