Facebook couples annoy me

I do not want to offend anyone (probably not the best way to start a post)

But….. I get annoyed with those couples on Facebook that feel the need to write on their spouses wall twenty times a day.

“I just want the entire Facebook to know that I have the best wife in the world. You are not only the love of my life but are also my best friend”

a whopping 5 minutes later the wife will post on her wall

“Thank you to my amazing husband who has always known me better than I know myself”


You know they are sitting next to each-other on the sofa, each using their respective laptops.

Perhaps I am bitter, jealous, envious,

did I say bitter?

Now,I know my husband loves me. I do not need him to announce it to all of facebook, although it is sweet if it is maybe just once a week. I mean, truth be told, he would not even know how to use facebook. He barely knows how to email!

Am I the only woman out there who does not have her husband on Facebook?

And then…..I had one of my brilliant ideas.

Wait for it…….

Wait for it……

I can make my husband a fake facebook!

I could use our wedding picture as his profile picture, and totally run his facebook page. The first wall post would be

“I just want to thank my amazing wife for hooking me up with a facebook. She really is the Queen of all things”

Of course my family would see right through it.

And my husbands family for that matter.

But…for the few facebook friends that I do have on there, who do not know my husband, they would be all like “Awwww, I am so jealous, she has such a good husband.”

You know, kinda like how I get annoyed reading post from my friends and their spouses….but a small, tiny, minuscule part of me is jealous.

My husbands second post….

“My wife is so HAWT. Megan Fox needs to watch out”

Do you guys see how much fun I could have with this?!?!?!

However, the truth of the matter is, if my husband really did have a facebook (which would never happen) his first post would be more along the lines of

” What the *$%% did Jen just get me into?”

“Need some wine”


and there would be quite a few misspelled words.

So, tell me. Does your significant other have a facebook? If so, do you guys leave corny, mushy messages on each others page? (Because if you do, then you should probably stop).

If you were to make a fake facebook for your significant other…what would the first wall post say?

and now, for me, my wall post says

“Time for vodka, over and out”

16 thoughts on “Facebook couples annoy me

  1. What a brilliant plan. I wish my husband didn't already have Facebook. We do not leave each other such messages regularly, but I know exactly the sort you are talking about.

  2. My husband has a facebook, but almost never uses it. On very RARE occasions he surprises me by saying something sweet…which makes it matter, unlike the ones you describe, IMO.

  3. You must be married to my husband (side note: I'd make an excellent, albeit messy, sister wife) who hates Facebook. Actually, so do I, but how else would I know what my children are doing?

  4. I really liked your idea. My husband would never, never, never, ever have a FB, ever!! If he did, which he wouldn't, he would say some smart aleck thing. So I am much happier that he shares the nightly news with me and of course The Golf Channel 😉

  5. Ok…truth out. My husband has a page, he asked me to set it up. He sits beside me while we look at “his stuff” and keeps in touch with family and friends. I do the typing, and while I am telling the truth, I do not think he even knows how to get it on his own. So, no there are no messages on there to me, or from me. But thought you may laugh at the situation!!

  6. This is hilarious! My hubby and I are on FB and occasionally we will leave each other mushy comments. But it is once in awhile because honestly, I can't stand that crap either. Barf. Lol. I do have a friend whose husband is not on FB, just to let you know so you don't feel like the only one. I should tell her this idea! I'm sure she'll love it!

  7. I don't care for constant personal updates on every aspect of your day. That gets boring real fast. And yes, I've seen the lovey dovey comments too.

    My wife doesn't have a Facebook account. If she did, her first post would be “and now the side of Matty you DON'T know”.

  8. This is so funny!! I am single right now so first I'd have to think up a fake boyfriend to be “in a relationship with” on FB. His first stat woudld be “I am so in love with my new girlfriend. She brings so much Joy to my life” LOL

  9. LOL I totally agree!
    However, I think it's nice to see a post here and there – like once a month, maybe – between couples. But the back and forth sapfest irritates me. Don't these couples ever see each other in real life? Can't they talk in person?!

  10. i love this and i may just be the saddest comment you will have to your ? because yes hubby does has facebook and gawd no way do we leave soppy messages to each other but i did set a fake facebook page up and run it for…our dog! check her out her name is maisy george. i know i told you it was sad especially as i dont even have the time for my own facebook page! nice to stop by and say hi, i found you on the red dress club weekend link up jane x

  11. gag seriously I hate it when they do that. I gag and stick my tounge out at the computer. really so silly. My husband stalks my account even though he has his own with like five whole friends. 🙂 I guess my buisness is more exciting than his, I don't mind, but I am going to hijack his account now that I think of it and post something worthy of blowing rasberries at for all the haters. 🙂

    thanks for the idea!

  12. don't know why I just read this…. but I SO AGREE WITH YOU.. I even see ones that say:
    “Hurry Home… I Miss you…”
    Jeez…. they have been apart for three hours.

  13. My husband does not have Facebook. I am glad, because otherwise he would friend me and see all the mean things I say about him. If I could fake a Facebook page for him, his first post would be “My wife is always right, and I'm sorry for all the times I implied she's wrong.”

  14. Recently, I came back to the facebook after a two-year hiatus. I despise it. But with my blog turning two and the possibility of me publishing something this summer, I knew i needed anotehr promotional tool.

    The downside, I can't resist the urge to brag about my kids and my wife, who loves the facebook and hates the twitter, will make stati like the ones you mention. I cringe, wait for the messages making fun of me from my friends, and deal.

    I agree with every word you posted. But, I'm a hypocrite by marriage.

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