and this is why I need vodka…..

In case you are not caught up yet, I have four kids. Two boys, two girls. 4,6,10 and 17. I believe in spacing them out just right so the older kids can change diapers,cook dinners, give baths for the younger kids. I am just so smart, huh?

Anyhow, as all of you know, everyone that has more than one child that is, no two personalities are alike. Each kids is oh so different.

Especially in my case.

Today, I am talking about my 10 yr old son. If someone were to ask me “So, tell me about your 10 yr old,” my first inclination would be to laugh. Where to begin? He desperately wants a pair of red skinny jeans (I know!) He will debate (argue) with you over every-single-thing. He is stubborn, he wants to grow up to build houses for the homeless, he is a great student, loves going to school, even when I beg him to stay home so I do not have to wake up early….and, well, he is a little bit….oh…what’s the word……let’s say flaky. Yes, he is a little bit flaky.

The other day, I asked him to fold his clean clothes and put them away. Easy, right? He is fairly independent. He does do his own laundry. I refuse to allow my boys to grow up, get married and not know a thing about household chores, ya know? I do not want them to depend on their wife if they will have clean underwear that day. Anyway….my point is, folding clothes and putting them away are nothing new to him…..one would think.

He is sitting on the sofa, his big pile if clean clothes in front of him. I wait…..and wait…..and wait.

“Those clothes are not going to fold themselves”

“I know mom!”

More waiting….I clean the kitchen, come back out into the living room and he is still sitting there, clothes not yet folded with this look on his face.

“Okay, what’s going on kid? These should have not only been folded by now, but also put away”

“I’m thinking mom!”

“About what?”

“About where to put them”

Okay seriously?!?!?! I mean c’mon!!!!! Where do all clean clothes go? Where have they always gone? Let’s take a shot in the dark and say THE CLOSET??????? Am I missing something here?

Long story short, I grounded him for one day. Yeah yeah bad mom I am, whatever. Trust me, he KNOWS where to put his clean clothes.

So……(because you know the story does not end here). Fast forward to the next day.

1pm. The kids are all in school, I am doing my household chores (facebook) and the phone rings. Caller ID says it is the school calling. Crap!

“Hello”

“Hi Mom”

“Vinnie?”

“Yeah”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, why?”

“Ummm,well, because it is in the middle of the school day and you are calling me….from your classroom!!!”

“Oh yeah…..why am I grounded again?”

“What?? Where is your teacher at? Does she know you are using the phone?”

“Yes Mom, why am I grounded again?”

“Because it took you over an hour to “think” about where to put your clean clothes”

“Well is there anything I can do to get off being grounded?”

“Like aside from getting off the phone with me and going back to class…ummm, no”

Okay, is it me or does this just seem strange that he is calling me, from the classroom phone, in the middle of the day?!?!?!

Fast forward to after school. Vinnie comes home, acting like he never called me in the middle of the day from his classroom wanting to know why he was grounded.

“Hi Mom”

“Hi…so….what was the phone call all about?”

“What phone call?”

“The one you made to me…today…..in the middle of school”

“I wanted to know why I was grounded”

“and your teacher actually allowed you to call me?”

“Well duh”

“Alrighty then”

“I just told her that you had grounded me and I did not know why and I would not be able to finish my math untill I knew why it was that I was grounded, she was kinda annoyed, like you get when you yell at the girls, I think she letted me call you because she knew I needed to do my math”

“Yeah…okay….you do know “letted” is not a word, right?”

“Yes Mom,jeez, that’s why I am in school and because I go every day and know that letted is not a word, I was just testing you, that is why I should not be grounded”

And now, do you people finally see, why it is I drink my vodka…daily?!?!?!

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