What not to bring to a barbecue

Last weekend Joe and I and the kids went to a last minute barbecue at my sister and brother in-laws house.

Of course, being the good guest that we are, we did not want to arrive empty handed. My brother in-law was cooking a nice spread of short ribs and hot dogs, he asked that we pick up some potato salad on the way.

Sure…no problem.

While at the store, two kids in a cart, one kid walking by us, touching everything in sight, the following conversation took place between Joe and I.

Joe~ we should buy chicken.

Me~ For what?

Joe~ the barbecue, so we do not arrive empty handed.

Me~ We aren’t, we are bringing potato salad.

Joe~ We should bring chicken.

Me~ Ummm, okay?

Joe~ You do not think we should bring chicken?

Me~ No…no I do not.

Joe~ Why?

Me~ you mean aside from the fact that it is chicken, that is not yet cooked, which means more work for our host…your brother in-law…no, we should not bring chicken. I think we should bring a cake, or something.

Joe~ I am still thinking we should do chicken.

Me~ okay then, chicken it is.

Joe~ Where is the marinade at?

Me~ marinade? For what?

Joe~ the chicken

Me~ Seriously?? Not only do you want to bring them raw chicken, which as I stated a few seconds ago is more work for them, now you want them to marinate it?

Joe~ Is that wrong?

Me~ Wrong…no. Stupid…yes.

Joe~ Where is the marinade?

Me~ “sigh” on the isle with the deli meat.

40.00 later we leave the store w/ chicken and marinade. I already knew this was a dumb idea and already could foresee this very blog post about it.

We get to my sister and brother in-laws house. Brother in-law is already outside cooking. Joe and I unload the kids…and chicken, from the car. We head on in to say our hellos.

Joe goes up to his brother in law, gives him a hug and a little too happily hands him the bag of raw chicken that not only needs to be cooked but apparently marinated.

Joe~ Here you go, we brought chicken.

I am standing behind Joe, not sure if I should quickly sneak inside to find my sister in-law and apologize for the chicken, or stay outside and say my hellos.

Brother in-law~ Chicken? You brought chicken?

Joe~ (he is just so damn proud of the chicken) Yeah, chicken, and lemon marinade, here ya go.

Brother in-law~ Oh, uh, umm, thanks man, go ahead and take it inside and give it to your sister.

Joe heads inside with the blasted chicken. I go up to my brother in-law to give him the obligatory hug.

Brother in-law~ Hey Jen, how ya been doing?

Me~ Good good, I told Joe not to bring chicken, I wanted to bring a cake.

Brother in-law~ yeah, what was that about? I mean I appreciate the thought and all, but, well, I have all the meat covered.

Me~ He thought you would appreciate raw chicken that you would have to marinate and cook more so than a store bought cake we could have for dessert.

And there you go. What NOT to bring to a barbecue.

We ended up leaving the chicken there for them to cook at a later date.

Brother in-law was trying to pawn the chicken off on us as we were leaving.

I told him no way.

But I did manage to leave with my vodka.

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3 thoughts on “What not to bring to a barbecue

  1. We men think on an entirely different level. It's a man thing. My wife and I disagree on a lot. But I've learned through trial and error when we're heading out to just go with whatever she says to bring. Keeps her happy, which makes life MUCH easier on me. Just sayin'.

  2. Hilarious!!! Oh my God sooo funny!!! Did you tell Joe “Told ya so!”????

    I thought I had signed up and would be able to post using my name…. still can't figure this crap out….Lisa

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