Jen called me the other day and told me she joined a gym. I then proceeded to look outside and see if pigs were flying.
I was then recalling the time when we lived together in the apartment. A friend of mine from work had convinced me to join her at the gym before work each morning. Each morning as I left the apartment, Jen and Alphonso would give me the side-eye as I walked out in my gym clothes before the crack of dawn. So, naturally when I got the news that Jen was the newest member at Planet Fitness I had to give a little back. After a few minutes of extreme harassment and in-depth conversation questioning her sanity, I decided to join her. Not at the gym but in the realm of eating healthy and exercising.
Upon our new venture, I had an epiphany the other night about having an incentive to our weight loss. After much discussion on what our incentives are going to be, this is what I decided. After I lose 50lbs, I would like to treat myself to a trip to California. This will surely keep me on track and out of the drive-thru at Dairy Queen, right? No kids, just a peaceful trip to a place that I dearly love to be. Thankfully, Day 2 went well, with no slip-ups or chocolate.
Chocolate. Did I mention how much I love chocolate? So, as long as I can keep away from chocolate, this should go smoothly. I guess we’ll check in a week and see how the progress is going and hopefully, I don’t end up with any broken body parts.
So, we all know by now that I took the leap and joined the gym for the first time in my 37 years of life.
Talking to my sister tonight on the phone….
Sister ~ So what are you doing tonight?
Jen ~ I am going to the gym……….Wow, just saying those words makes you want to laugh huh?
Sister ~ Well, I did not want to say anything but……..
Joe thinks I am nuts.
Jen ~ I hate the way I look in gym clothes. THIS SUCKS!
Joe ~ Yeah, isn’t that why you joined the gym?
He may or may not have used quotation marks for the word “gym.”
I mean I get it, I cannot fault anyone. I am the least athletic person you will ever meet.
Phone conversation with my brother.
Brother ~ Soooooo, what’s been going on?
Jen ~ I joined a gym!
Brother ~ You did, that’s……..that’s nice.
Jen ~ It’s okay to laugh, everyone else has.
So…..the thing is, I need to make some changes. I have talked about this before, and will try to keep it short. I basically eat my emotions. Food is my vice, it is my safe place, in a way it is my addiction for coping. It is my high, it is my low.
Yesterday, I had a brief moment of sadness, of depression, of questioning if what I do even matters. Unfortunately, I was in a classroom at one of my kid’s school. I was able to sneak away, have a little “moment” in the restroom, pull myself together, return to the classroom and scarf down a butterfinger. Chocolate always makes everything better.
I am not sure if this will make any sense. I feel I have a pretty good canvas to work with, it’s just worn, and not in the best condition. Over time, the canvas can be restored. The canvas will not be in its original form, yet there is the chance it can be better. It can be fabulous.
After a heart to heart talk with Christin, together we decided it was now or never. Together, over the past 16 years, we have been through it all. Abuse, high risk pregnancies, eating disorders, psychotic boyfriends, and now, we will add weight loss to our list.
We want to lose a combined total of 100 pounds…..50 pounds each. It wont be easy, nothing good ever is….yet I believe we can do it.
Although Christin has a pretty impressive goal of taking a road trip to California, my goal is a little, well, let’s just say I probably need to learn to dream bigger…….but for now, my goal is to be able to wear this dress.
I have always loved the vintage/retro look, and although I would have absolutely no place to wear this dress (grocery shopping at Winco?)…….I want the day to come where I can put it on and just amaze myself.
And the shoes, I need those shoes.
So here we go on our new journey…