The One That Only Happens at Walmart

Wednesday night, Christin and I did our normal routine of chatting on the phone in between homework breaks and cooking dinner. We each had a good day at our respective jobs and home fronts.

Let me just give you a little snippet of our conversation.

Me~ I am so lucky I have not gotten sick yet. I have had a kid cough on me, one threw up on me and one smeared poop on me! My immune system is a BEAST!

Chrsitin~ Right? It has been months since I have been sick! We are killing it at staying healthy!

So, although it was quite a surprise to me, it will not be a surprise to any of you that I woke up Thursday morning sick. I felt like death was at my doorstep. Fever, could not even talk sick, and yet I still tried to get ready for work. I put in a good effort, but I knew my morning would involve me hanging out on the playground with my little friend, and as I much as I enjoy my friend, I had visions of me passing out on the frostbitten playground slide and my friend running into the neighboorhood. I am not even kidding. My vision continued with me laying in the health room and my office manager having to call Joe at work because I passed out and now there is a missing kid-so although I know it was an inconvenience for my coworkers, I called in.

Also, my own kids were sick.

The girls and I spent all day Thursday doing nothing. We rested, we drank our liquids and we slept. Two out of the three of us felt better. Naturally, I was still feeling it.

Joe comes home from work, throws some chicken soup together. I slowly gathered myself together to make a Walmart run. I know what you guys are thinking. Most likely the same thing Joe was thinking “Are you crazy?” Yes, I am, but we already knew that. Here’s the thing. I know my body. I knew as much as I wanted to continue to lay on the comfort of my lopsided sofa, I knew that I had to get up, I had to make an effort and I had to get some fresh air…..also, I needed supplies in the form of orange juice, ginger ale, and coconut oil.

Now, I am not exactly sure how I ended up in the cosmetic section at Walmart, but I did, so we will just leave it at that. I figured “Well, since I am here, better grab some mascara…and blush.”

For those not familiar, Walmart kind of changed things. They now have their cosmetic section it’s own section. If you want to purchase makeup, you have to purchase it at the makeup counter. I am not sure what they are going for here, but MAC they are not.

As soon as I enter the small enclosed section that has Maybelline, Cover Girl, Revlon and Elf at my fingertips, I notice a cute older Asian Lady with a spitfire personality going off on the “Cosmetics Cashier.”

Asian Lady~ I no understand. Why can’t I pay with my other items? This makes no sense. This is stupid.

I love this woman.

Walmart Cosmetics Cashier~ Blah Blah Blah.

I find my tried and true Cover Girl “The Falsies” mascara and make my way to the “makeup counter.”

The lovely cashier who just moments ago was trying to explain to the Asian Lady why there is now a cosmetics department at Walmart greeted me. She looks at me, she looks at the mascara and blush I have in my hand.

Cashier~ Eww. Are you sick?

(I mean really, who can blame her, I did look beat up!)

Me~ Yes, sorry, I should not even be here, I needed juice.

(Motions to my cart filled with orange juice)

Cashier~ That’s okay, what are your symptoms?

(Important to note, my state has a measles outbreak)

Me~ No worries, I have had the measles vaccine. Just feverish, can’t talk, runny nose, just look at me!

(At this point, my favorite Asian Lady is now behind me in line)

Cashier~ (picks up her phone) I have the perfect thing for you, just give me a minute, let me find it…..

Asian Lady~ I have question about makeup!

Me~ Ummm, okay…..

Cashier~ (To Asian Lady) I will answer your question when it is your turn in line.

Me~ (Coughing, sneezing, hacking up a lung)

Cashier~ Look! This is what you need to do. Where is your phone, get your phone, take a picture of my picture and then go grab some Vicks Vapor Rub.

(I am looking at a clip-art picture of a foot)

Asian Lady~ I want to see!

Cahsier~ (Looking at Asian Lady) You of all people know what I am talking about. (Shows Asian Lady the picture of the clip art foot.

Me~ (Thinking to myself) “Did I just witness a racial stereotype?”

Asian Lady~ Great grandfather from Japan, he studies feet.

Me~ (Still coughing, sneezing and hacking up another lung.)

Asian Lady~ (To me) You look bad, pale, go drink tea, juice no good.

As I was leaving, I look back, and see my favorite Asian Lady and my not so favorite Walmart Makeup Counter Cashier, looking at the clip art picture of a foot.

In case you are just as confused as I was, your take away from this post….never go to Walmart when you are sick. Specifically, never go to the makeup counter. Just trust me.

(If you look close enough, you can see the register and the vest of my cashier)





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