The next month went by pretty fast. Christin and I found a place. Alphonso took the news as expected, drama queen at best, toddler at his worst.

“Alphonso we have some news.”

“Oh my god is someone dead.”

“No.”

“You bitches bought me Vogue and a pack of smokes, what is going on?”

“Well, Christin and I are officially giving your our 30 day notice! Yay!”

“You guys are moving out?”

“Yes! Yay! Aren’t you proud of us for being grown ups?”

“It’s because I’m fat, isn’t it?”

“No no. It’s because you are poor, but don’t you worry we will help you find roommates.”

(End scene. Alphonso goes to pout in his room)

……

Moving day was quickly approaching. For reasons that I rather not get into ie: “I told you so” Christin and I mutually agreed that the best thing to do was give ourselves a little more time to move.

“Jen, you know Ryan is right, we need just a little bit longer to find a place and save.”

“Fine…..but this was OUR idea, not his.”

Jordan would make more frequent visits to our apartment. Slowly, things were progressing nicely with him and Christin. He was a nice guy. Hell, he would even tolerate Alphonso’s “Sex and the City” movie nights, even after Alphonso calling him “The Black Aidan.”

It was nice to see Christin in a relationship she could actually enjoy. Jordan would take her out every Friday, Christin would cook (well, she would attempt to) every Saturday, and on the few occasions where she messed up dinner, Jordan paid for takeout. Everything just seemed “easy” with them.

“Chris, what do you feel like doing tonight.”

“There’s a new movie I want to see.”

“Dinner first or afterwards?”

“After.”

None of that “Oh I don’t know, what ever you feel like doing” crap.

Ryan and I actually started to tolerate each other. Come to find out he had a daughter a year older than Vinnie. We would get the kids together for a playdate here and there while getting to know each other. Most importantly, I enjoyed the banter with him.

“You know your shirt does not match don’t you?”

“You know I don’t care don’t you?”

“Yes, I gathered that”

“It’s funny how you are giving me fashion advice while you have holes in your jeans and…..is that  pizza sauce on your shirt?”

“IT’S THE STYLE AND I WAS HUNGRY!”

……

It was a Friday night. Christin and Jordan were doing their thing, while Alphonso, Ryan, and me were just chilling at the apartment. Christin calls and invites us to Denny’s for some late night munchies. With Vinnie safely asleep I called my friend Jasmine who lived right upstairs and asked her if she would come listen out for Vinnie. I would be an hour tops.

The five of us meet up at Denny’s. Coincidentally there happened to be some work people there as well. A bunch of Samoans who worked the late shift were grubbing down on well, on everything. The only one I recognized was this guy name Joe. We gave each other a polite nod of the head and that was it. Meanwhile, Alphonso had found his crew. Not work people, people from his nail salon. Of course.

I am not sure exactly how it happened, but Alphonso invited his crew back to our apartment for some after dinner drinks. See, I would not have to put up with this when Christin and I had our own place.

Allow me to set the scene. Christin and Jordan took their place by the front door, as there was nowhere else for them to sit. I kept my place in the hallway entrance. Vinnie was in Christin’s room sleeping and I did not want anyone to wake him up. Ryan was with me, and offered to get rid of some of these people, these questionable people. Alphonso was in the kitchen, martini in hand, doing his rendition of Lady Marmalade.

A cute young girl who Alphonso just met at Denny’s (yet invited her into our home) approached Ryan.

“Are you two together?”

She was clearly giving me the look over. I did not like this one.

“We are friends.”

Geez, he could not just tell her we were? For no other reason than to get rid of her?

“I have a job in an hour, I’m good for 30 if you want to go?”

What the hell was she talking about?

I am just curious if anyone reading this, from that sentence alone “I have a job in an hour, I’m good for 30 if you want to go.” Do you guys know what that means? Because I clearly was the only person who did not get it. Come to find out our little friend was a prostitute. Not even kidding. She just finished a “job” when Alphonso met her at Denny’s and, I guess because prostitution offers flexibility (in more ways that one) she had a good 30 minutes to kill and wanted to offer her services to Ryan in the bathroom.

Are you freaking kidding me?

“Oh hell no this is not happening, get rid of her.”

I found Christin, whispered in her ear that we have a whore in our apartment who just offered to do some sort of sexual act to Ryan in the bathroom, with my son sleeping in the next room over, and we have got to shut it down now.

Christin gave Jordan the rundown and within seconds everyone was gone.

“Alphonso, how in the hell could you invite a prostitute back to our home?”

“It’s not like I asked for her resume before the invite.”

“THIS IS WHY I NEED MY OWN PLACE!”

“Jen, a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do.”

……