For anyone who has noticed, (all three of you) Christin and I have been out of commission for a few weeks. I am FINALLY all moved in my new place. Moving sucks, the pay off is pretty spectacular. It is not the move we originally wanted, it is the move we needed.

The same time we were moving, Christin and her family went to Eastern Washington to visit her family. While there, Christin had a bad case of allergies, which turned out to not be allergies. Every time I spoke with her on the phone, it sounded as if I was talking to a 70-year-old woman who smokes a pack a day.

For now, I will leave you with some pointers on how to make “Moving Day” as easy as possible.

• If you need boxes, check out Wal-Mart, or your local schools. Both places seem to have an abundance supply. Also, make sure you know how to properly tape a box….because believe it or not, you may be told how to properly do so.

• If you have pets, I would recommend moving them first. Set up a “safe area” in your new place with a few of their favorite toys, and a familiar blanket (for the scent.) Do not move them last…..like we did. They will be pretty pissed off. Just trust me on this one.

• If you are a sentimental – yet logical – borderline hoarder, do not trust your husband and /or kids when they tell you “Don’t worry, we got everything!”

• Apparently, we do not need bed frames for the beds. (See above)

• Unpack the kitchen first. If you wait too long, someone else will do it and make the God awful mistake of putting the coffee pot furthest away from the fridge. If  you find yourself in this situation, my advice is to wait three days before putting the coffee pot in its proper place. For some reason, if you move things around, directly after “someone” has set it up, well, they kind of get offended.

• If you find yourself needing a “moving break” but do not want to look like a wimp when everyone else is working their ass off, just text a close family member and / or friend. “I need you to call me in five minutes with a fake emergency.” This has also served me well when political debates are going on.

• You know the treadmill you had at your old place? You know, the one that made a pretty amazing coat rack? Well, the thing is, once you convince your husband and kids that you indeed want to take it with you to the new place, they will be counting down the days until you use it, just waiting to say “I KNEW YOU WOULD NOT USE IT.”

• There is nothing wrong with doing a Christmas theme in your second bathroom. No matter what anyone tells you, it is completely practical. If they do not let up, threaten to bring out your Christmas dinnerware. That will shut them up.

• Most importantly, enjoy the process. Waking up for the first time in your new home only happens once. You do not have to have everything unpacked at once…….unless of course it is Christmas motif.