Christin

Never having a constant father figure really damages a person. How does a woman know what to expect from her partner if she was never taught was is acceptable and not acceptable? How does she know her worth if no one ever showed her? How does she fill a void that has been missing for her entire life? The answer is she finds herself in a relationship that is all wrong, but she rationalizes it to herself and everyone around her.

That’s what Scotty was. He filled that void. Even if it was temporarily filled. The truth was he never really was mine. He took my time, energy and sanity, but he was never mine. The truth came out about his “friend” upstairs and his liking for Jen. Everyone saw it but me. I was always the last to know everything. Except for this time. T was the last to know that Scotty had hit on Jen.

“I’m going to blow up his fucking car” were the words that came from T’s mouth. And I believed him. He was serious as a heart attack. I wanted to see Scotty just one more time. I went to his house and proclaiming “I need to talk to you…this is serious” I updated him on how T found out about his proposition to Jen and how T was threatening serious bodily harm to him and his car. I used this as an excuse. Anything to see him just one more time. Just one more time. I wish I could say that was the last time I saw Scotty, but it wasn’t. But not because of me. Meanwhile, there was tension in the apartment.

I began to see personality traits in T that I didn’t like. He didn’t like when other people had an opinion especially when it didn’t coincide with his own. Alphonso took the silent approach when it came to T. I don’t know if he was intimidated or just chose to not say anything. But that wasn’t the case with me. If he was being disrespectful, I would call him out. But one night, he took it too far. Scotty and I were done. I was in a bad mood. T was on a roll tonight.

“So tell your boyfriend, he better watch his back”

“He’s not my boyfriend, so why don’t you tell him yourself”

I was really not in the mood to deal with this.

“He better never come back here again”

No shit. He was definitely not coming back here.

“You have really bad taste in guys, Christin”

Finally I had enough of him lecturing me about what I needed to do or say.

“T, shut the hell up”

Yeah that didn’t go over very well.

“What did you say”

I was done.

“You heard me, I didn’t stutter.”

At this point he got up and started walking towards me.

“What are you gonna do? Not a damn thing” I spouted. Feeling a bit nervous but still in control.

He began to raise his voice and at that point I was intimidated.

“You need to leave. You are not on the lease, so you have to go”

Jen stayed silent. Now I was raising my voice.

“If you don’t leave, I am calling the police.”

It’s almost like he was daring me. As I picked up the phone and began dialing 911, T ran out the back balcony and jumped over it. 3 stories and all. Jen disappeared out the door. A few minutes later, the cop was at the door. I explained what had happened and she took a report.

Everyone was gone.

I sat down and realized maybe this wasn’t where I needed to be. I loved Jen and Alphonso like family but maybe it was time to branch out on my own.