Epic Mom Fail #684

I have a three year old who is actually closer to four (Feb) but for the sake of this story, so I do not look completely crazy, I am going to say she is three.

She still uses a pacifier. I know, I know, let me have it.

Logically, I know she is too old for the pacifier, but (there is always a but) her pacifier is my GODSEND. Seriously. She starts her fits, I just give her the pacifier and all is well in her world.

As much as it annoys me to see kids over the age of two with a pacifier, all rules go out the window with my kid.

Her dentist knows she still uses the pacifier and has not once chastised me for it (so neither should you!)

She is the only one of my four kids who has used a pacifier, so this is all new to me (this would be there part where you cut me some slack).

I do not know if it is because she is the youngest, or perhaps she is just a brat, or maybe it is my awesome parenting skills, but the girl has issues. When things do not go her way, she will scream at the top of her lungs “THAT’S IT MOM, I QUIT”. I do not even know what that means, I mean what exactly is it she thinks she is quitting?

When she “quits”, I give her the pacifier, and suddenly become the best mom ever “Thanks mom, I love you”.

Now you can clearly see how dependent I am on the pacifier.

Well….last night, my other little princess (5 yr old) decided to throw one of her fits (what is it with my kids and their tantrums?) and she threw the pacifier out the window, out the second story window, when it was dark out, and she did all this intentionally. Lovely child isn’t she?

I guess my 5yr old was getting annoyed by the 3yr old and she decided to get back at her by throwing the pacifier out the window.

I was devastated. I mean what am I going to do without my godsend? It was as if the pacifier vanished into thin air, because even with my flashlight and rosary, I could not find it. It was gone forever.

My 3yr old freaked out, I freaked out, my 5yr old thought it was the funniest thing ever.


It took me an hour to explain to my 3yr old that the pacifier was gone. “But why mom, why?”

Because your sister is a brat, that’s why. (Is what I wanted to say)

Because you’re a big girl now, just like your sister, you don’t need a dumb pacifier (Is what I ended up saying)

“Okay mom, I’m a big girl”

She was actually excited about being a big girl now, go figure. Maybe this is how she will be weened off of it, cold turkey, just like that.

and then……

in a moment of weakness…..


Why, why , why? There has got to be something seriously wrong with me. I mean the kid seemed to have forgotten all about it, until now, until I went to the store and saw the cutest little pink pacifier FOR A NEWBORN……and yet I still bought them. Actually, not only did I buy them, but I came home all excited to give her her new pacifiers.

And now, she is all happy, content, and quiet,

and for me? I am all happy, content and quiet,

but in the back of my head, I know I seriously messed up, never should I have bought the new pacifiers.

I told you this was an epic mom fail.

3 thoughts on “Epic Mom Fail #684

  1. Okay, here's some of my toilet bowl psychology: You gave her the new pacifier because you don't want to give up your baby. ~ Kim used to be attached to her pacifier. We called it a “bobo” in Spanish. She had about 4 of them, but her favorite was the oldest, grossest, most worn out lint covered bobo. One day in desperation, I took a pair of scissors and snipped off the tip of the bobo. I then told her “The bobo has a booboo.” She looked at it perfectly calm, and accepted the fact that the bobo had a booboo, and that was the end of her bobo era! Well… let us know what happens in the epic of Sofia and her pacifier. Good luck!

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