I love to blog. I love to write. I also seem to love to procrastinate. Every week my favorite blogger has some writing prompts for us bloggers to write about. It is usually a list of five prompts. We pick one and write a blog. Easier said then done. Doing these weekly writing prompts helps me to write, and, that is all I really want to do. Write. It would be really great if I could actually get paid to write, but all in due time. Right??
One of the prompts for this week is to write a blog inspired by the word “mistake.” For some reason, this particular prompt caught my eye. I just knew I had to write about it. Problem. I did not know what to write about, because, well, I am pretty much perfect.
I called my niece. I asked her “So, what should I write about, because you know, I cannot think of a mistake I made?” After she got her laughter under control, and after we spent a good twenty minutes going over my mistakes for this week alone, it hit me. I knew what I was going to write about.
My biggest mistake. The mistake that if I could go back in time and slap some sense into my younger self, the mistake that had control over me for way too long.
“Do not base your self-worth by a number on the scale.”
I know I am not the only one who has done this. Show of hands please!!
There have been too many times in my life when I gave the number on the scale the power to dictate my mood. Or, I would not allow my picture to be taken because I did not like the way my nose looked. Or, the fact I look four months pregnant, or, the way my shirt was bunching up in the middle. The list goes on.
Many mornings, I would wake up feeling great. Yet, as soon as I stepped on the spawn of Satan, I would be in a bad mood. Many mornings I would think “Oh yeah, this is the day my jeans will finally fit and I no longer have to wear spanx!” Only to realize I had to go up a size in jeans and needed my spanx more than ever. This, my friend, is a mistake.
Many times I would watch a movie,or see a commercial, and ask myself “How come I do not look like her?” “What is wrong with me?” “How can my husband even be attracted to me?” This my friend, is a mistake.
When I had school functions with my older sons, I would always compare myself to the other moms there. “She is so much prettier than I am.” “Wow, she is so put together.” “I wonder if my kids are embarrassed by me?” Again, this is a mistake.
I remember when I was about 10 or 11. I took ballet classes. The girls would always make fun of me because I was fat. They even asked if I was pregnant. I would love to go back in time and punch them in the face, but that would not be very productive, or would it?
Now, let me tell you what ends up happening. Life goes on. Life goes on whether you are secure in yourself or not. Life goes on whether you can fit into a size 6, 16 or 26 jeans. Life does not care what size you are. There will always be bills that need to be paid. There will be struggles whether you are married or single. There will be struggles if you have children or not.
The number on the scale. That is something that should never ever give your power.
Because one day, something really hard will going to hit you. A death in the family, a sickness, a divorce, an accident. Something will happen to shake things up a little. Something will happen that will kind of force you to take a step back and realize that there are so many more important things to worry about other than a number on a scale. Or how your nose looks in pictures, or how your shirt bunches in the wrong place.
So yes, my mistake was not only giving the scale power, but also giving others the power to make me feel less than. What I needed to do was to just embrace myself. The good and the weird.
I am a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a niece, an aunt, a writer, a drinker. On any give day I have about 15 pounds that I probably should lose, but there is so much more to me than that.
I keep Christmas decorations up all year round, I prefer tacky decor over traditional/modern. I pretend I am organized when I really am not, but I know how to fake it.
And, I have learned from the mistakes I have made. This does not mean I will not make more, because, hello, have we just met? What I can promise though, is I will never again give the spawn of Satan the power over me, because, life really is too short.
I would like to encourage anyone who is interested in blogging to visit http://www.mamakatslosinit.com/2015/10/writing-prompts-for-10-22/ for the weekly writing prompts.