I have always had pretty vivid, crazy, wild, dreams. As a little girl I would often wake my parents up in the middle of the night, clearly traumatized because I had dreamt that Santa Claus was really a serial killer of children. There was the time that the Easter Bunny practiced cannibalism, and let’s not forget the time I dreamt our neighbour would kidnap us and leave our bodies in the river. I am telling you, if you have not figured it out yet, I am nuts.
I have often had wonderful magical romantic dreams that I know with a little fine tuning could be the next Sandra Bullock box office hit. I have had dreams of Brad Pitt and Gwyneth Paltrow (back when there was a Brad and Gwyneth) coming over to dinner, which ended with me ordering Pizza Hut, because even in my dreams I am not a good cook.
Last night, I had a dream. This one really threw me for a loop. When I was finally able to wake up, right before 3am, I grabbed my journal and pen and wrote it all down.
It was snowing. I could not tell if we would get the call that school would be cancelled or not. Looking out my window, the snow looked to be the heaviest in my parking lot. The road behind my trees, behind my view, was pretty clear. I figured I would wake up the girls and start getting them ready just incase. Then it hit me……there is no school today. It was a scheduled day and somehow I just forgot.
Joe was at work.
A friend told me “I will be back late, I am doing a voice over for “Home Improvement.”
Even though the weather was not the greatest, I would still take the girls and get them out of the house. I drove out the secluded back entrance of my apartment complex and pulled on to what looked to be a fairly deserted Pac. Hwy. Slowly, I made a right hand turn, before I knew it, someone had rear ended me and went driving off. I was hit hard enough where my car went spinning, and my cell phone went flying. “Hold on guys, hold on!”
The rain and snow mix was coming down harder, making it close to impossible to see. The car had somehow spun into the front yard of a neighbouring house. There was smoke coming from the hood, the girls were terrified.
A middle-aged lady comes running out of the house. “Oh my, what happened, come inside, come inside!”
Reluctantly, we went in. I had no other options. My cell phone was gone, the girls were crying and I needed to call for help. Upon entering the house, the girls take off. They are running and playing with some other kids who seem to occupy the house. “Don’t worry, they will be fine, they are just across the hall.”
I sat down when offered a seat and tried to gather my thoughts. “I need to call for help, my car, I cannot drive it.” I could hear the girls laughing and playing and being loud. “I am so sorry, my daughter, she has autismn….and epilepsy, I have to watch what she eats.”
Hearing this, the middle-aged lady perks up. “She does?” Something about the way she said it. Almost excitement in her voice that put me on edge….or maybe it was just me?
“There is a store about half a mile down the road. My sister can drive you, pick up some food and see if you can call for help.”
The store was deserted and out of power, but we were able to pick up some essentials for this Seattle storm. As soon as we get back to the house, we start to prepare the food. The girls are still playing with the kids. It is at this point where I notice the cats. About three of them. They were different. Clearly cats, but something was not quite right with them.
After we all ate at different intervals, I began to feel tired. I need a nap, yet I know I cannot take a nap. I need help, I need to get out of here. Joe has no idea what happened. I was sitting on the sofa, looking at the odd cats, trying to force myself to stay awake. I could hear the girls playing and laughing, but I am so tired. Why am I so tired?
I am fighting it. I rest my head down on the arm of the sofa, still focussed on the cats. Slowly, I reach my hand down to see if any of them will come to me. They do not even walk right. Is this a deformity? I cannot tell. I am so tired, and slowly, my eyes start to close. I tell myself “do not go to sleep do not go to sleep.”
It’s not working. The sound of the girls is slowly fading away, I am trying so hard to wake up and then, there is another voice. “Do not fight it, sleep. Just go to sleep.”
I cannot sleep, no, I need to be awake and alert and…… “It’s time now, sleep, they will not remember you…….go to sleep…….it’s too late now, they are mine, you are what we have been looking for.”
I cannot open my eyes. They are so heavy. It’s like I am paralyzed, I make some sort of grunting noise. That’s all I can do. Gracie…..Sofia……..
“They will not remember you…sleep, they are mine now……it’s too late.”
I woke up. It was one of those times where I shoot right up out of bed, look around, not completely knowing where I was. I grab my phone just in time for me to get some sort of Facebook notification. Joe will be up in about 30 minutes. What the hell? That dream was too damn realistic.
I got up, grabbed my journal and started to write.
Later in the day, when everything was back to normal. I called Christin and told her about my dream, while telling her I wanted to blog about it. (Of course.)
Christin’s interpretation was eerily accurate.
She said that the dream is some sort of representation of the medicine I want to keep Gracie away from. Medicine that I personally feel is poison, medicine that will change everything that makes Gracie, Gracie. In the dream I took it on as my own. I would rather poison myself than have Gracie go through that, even if she is taken away from me.
The cats in the dream, that look like cats but something is off, they also represent Gracie and her anomaly at birth.
I am not expert at dream interpretations. This one got to me, it was too real. After talking to Christin and doing some brief reading about dreams, I kinda feel my subconscious took over, and for whatever reason, I had to let this play out in fantasy, because in reality, there are so many unknowns.