Hard Times…

So things pretty much suck right now. They suck to the point where I probably should not even bother to blog, yet here I am.

Today, while I was cooking dinner, my two daughters were fighting and fell on one of my 8 week old kittens. Penelope.

Penelope is now unable to walk.

I, of course, freak out. My cats are like my children. I had every intention of making sure I found Penelope and her brothers, Oscar and Mango good homes. As much as I wanted to, I knew I could not keep them. We already have 6 cats.

In an ironic twist of fates, I emailed Ellen and Glennon (the popular blogger from Mommastery) begging and pleading to help me find them good homes.

And then this happens.

My husband and I had too surrender Penelope to the vet. She will need 24 hour care. I would have been willing to do whatever I could for her, but in the end, I suppose to best thing to do was to hand her over to people who have the medical equipment to get her better.

Nothing is broken, yet, she cannot walk.

“Over time” whatever the hell that means, if she is unable to walk then they will have to put her down because “That’s no way for an animal to live.”

Well, tell that to my 20 year old niece who was paralyzed in a near fatal car accident when she was six.

I am sure she would disagree with that. But what can I do? I do not have the money to put into her care.

This sucks.

My husband blames me.

I get it. When something likes this happens, you need to blame someone.

It’s just not the best thing for our marriage right now.

We were suppose to go to a funeral tomorrow. My husbands cousin sadly passed away. I made arrangements to keep this kids out of school so we can attend the funeral and show or family support.

Right now, I think I will just send my husband. It is clear that he does not want to be around me, and quite frankly I am not sure I want to be around him.

We are both hurting, we both deal with hurt in different ways.

My husband met me at the vet. I filled him on Penelope’s prognosis. He asked to see her. As soon as he saw Penelope “crawl” on the towel, he lost it.

I do not understand why these things happen. I so desperately wanted to find my kittens a good home, not make them suffer in mine.

And yet, here I am.

My house is empty tonight. I miss Penelope, I want her to be okay, and get better, and be happy in her new home.

I do not want her to feel like I abandoned her. I do not want her mom (one of my other cats) or her brothers to miss her.

So this sucks.

Times are hard.

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One thought on “Hard Times…

  1. Why does Joe Blame you? What about the kids , they must be feeling guilty too, no?
    In a way, perhaps they should feel a little guilt …. They probably shouldn't have been fighting.
    Bottom line, it's probably no ones fault… Bad things happen in this world … You mentioned your niece…. Think of all the struggles with blame there … And, what good dies it do? All we can do is try to learn from it …( ie: no fighting in the house, etc)
    Joe and Joe need to pull together not apart when bad things happen.one more thing… Unless I'm
    Wrong , there was not as much blame or psin going on when one of your kids fell out the window…,that was quite a bit worse than this, no? Is the only reason there was not blame and pain then because, by a clear miracle if God, she was ok? That could have been an ultimate tragedy.

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