Epic push-up fail

The other day I read an article online that said push-ups are the absolute best exercise to do if you want nice arms. And, because I read it online I knew it just HAD to be true. Right?

So I had a plan in place to make me have Demi Moore arms like she did in Strip Tease.

Also, part of my new found plan was to multi task.

My new plan was that every day that I had to use the restroom whether I was doing my makeup, taking a shower, or cleaning the bathroom that no one else knows how to clean except me, I will do a set of “sink push-ups”. Hands on the counter, feet spread apart, Demi Moore arms here I come.

Well…..apparently I did not google enough information on how to do a proper push-up….on the sink. My pathetic attempt at 15 lousy push-ups led to a sore neck/back.

Whatever, I will not give up. Mind over matter. Surely I can overcome freakin SINK PUSH UPS. I mean it is not even a real exercise, I made it up, and because I made it up I can either keep it alive or cave in. I was not going to cave in to something I made up because I am too lazy to do a real push-up.

But that is not the worst of it,

because I am now trying to multi task, the following events took place.

I go to take a shower. I get the water ready, have my face mask on, strip down to my granny panties and sorry excuse of a bra and realize “Crap! I need to do my sink push-ups” (Demi Moore arms here I come!)

Sure, the bathroom is fogging up because my shower is going, sure, my face is green in my feeble attempt to try the latest face mask in keeping with the fountain of youth, sure, I have like zero clothing on right now, I can knock out 20 sink push-ups real quick.

Everything was going fine, me,granny panties and bra, green face, on my 5th sink push-up, oh yeah, I got this. I am amazing, I thought up a new exercise all on my own, this will become the new “it” thing to do, someone will write a book about me, I am awesome….and then…..and then…I made the god awful mistake of looking at the full length mirror that is right next to my bathroom sink.

I do not know if I can recover from the vison I saw in the mirror. It was bad, real bad. Things were not where they should be, I saw things at angles that should be banned, it was bad. Picture a beautiful balloon…..that is now deflated and just barely trying to hang on.

Oh god I need help.

Diet starts tomorrow.


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