The One Before New Years Eve 2018

We never go out on New Years Eve. I hate it, I hate crowds and I feel like there are too many crazy people out on the roads. We stay in, listen to music, and usually order out.

Due to plans tomorrow, I did have to leave the house today to pick up some essentials. The store was freakin packed. Like worse than Christmas Eve packed. I had to grab a shopping cart from one of the stalls because there were no carts inside.

I do not do well with people. Specifically stupid people. I do not have anxiety or anything like that, it’s just that my Italian Temper sometimes gets the best of me when I am surrounded by idiots.

Is it really that hard to navigate the grocery store? I thought it was much like driving. You have two lanes. You never stop in the middle of the road/aisle (without pulling over) you make sure to stop and check for traffic. Why does no one get this??!!!

I had to go down the beer aisle for Joe. While I am trying to find his very specific kind of beer, I see two idiots. You know the type. Young twenty-something hipsters. They may have been counting their spare change to be able to afford the 12 pack of God knows what.

Idiot Number 1~ “Dude, for a few bucks more we can get the 24 pack. Score!”

Idiot number 2~ “Yeah Man, but how much is it? Like you seriously do not have beer at your house?”

God help the poor women that will be flattered by this 24 pack of God knows what.

Then comes the frozen food section. I needed a few bags of hash browns for a brunch tomorrow. Well, for some reason I could only find the diced hash browns, but the recipe calls for shredded. I am scanning the cases. Not quite sure if I am just not seeing it. All of a sudden, this woman comes up. Her phone in hand as if she is looking at her list. Perfect makeup, perfect hair, wearing a bit too much Burberry. Oh, and she has no regard for personal space. She would stand in front of me, I would move away. She would follow I would offer a loud “SIGH!” This chick was not getting it. Up and down the freezer section I went in search of shredded hash browns, and sure enough, Burberry Lady followed me.

Finally, I had enough. “Here, you go ahead and get what you need, I think I am going to be a little longer.” I take a step back while motioning for her to take the lead. Burberry Lady walks off like I somehow offended her. Whatever.

I finish my shopping and find my place about twenty deep in line. Knowing that it would be a while, I grab a diet Mountain Dew from the cooler case. Great, this cashier seems to be a little too talkative. I am going to have to fake it. (See, I can be nice when I have to!)

Time to unload my groceries from the cart on to the belt. Naturally, the cashiers are switching out. That’s cool. New guy looks like he rather be any place else other than behind the register. I feel you New Guy!!

I am up, he starts scanning. We make small talk on how crazy busy it is. He scans my diet Mountain Dew. “Would you like this now?” It’s like New Guy can read my mind. “Yes please!” He hands me the cold drink, I open it, and it explodes all over me and the floor. I am seriously standing there in a puddle of diet Mountain Dew. Not even kidding.

Me~ Oh my gosh I am so sorry!

New Guy looks up.

New Guy~ Oh. Oh no, look at you! I am so sorry!

New Guy picks up a roll of paper towels while grabbing the phone to make a page.


I take my scarf for reasons that I am still unsure of and start wiping myself down. I had the diet Mountain Dew everywhere. Hands, jacket, jeans, and remember, I am standing dead center in the middle of it. Some may say it looked like I had an “accident.”

Slowly, I turn around to look at the line behind me. I can see people rolling their eyes while checking to see if any of the other lines may be shorter than the “CLEAN UP ON REGISTER FIVE” line. However, directly behind me stood an adorable elderly couple. Who for some reason, had no idea that I just spilled diet Mountain Dew all over me and the floor. Their back was turned towards me as they were unloading their cart. Had it not been for this sweet elderly couple behind me, I would have told all the others who were rolling their eyes to “Put your eyes back in your head and maybe come help clean up!” But, I digress.

Meanwhile, still, no CLEAN UP ON REGISTER FIVE associate came to, you know, clean up. I continue with my scarf and start wiping everything down.

New Guy~ Are you sure you are okay, I am so sorry. I feel this was my fault.

Me~ Trust when I say this is typical of me. Not your fault at all, I am just worried about the couple behind me, I do not want to them to step in the sticky soda.

New Guy looks at the couple, who are still oblivious to the happenings that are going on in front of them.

New Guy~ I get you!

He grabbed a roll of paper towels, pushed my cart out of the way. Together, we cleaned up the mess on Register 5. A small act of kindness on his part, but one I appreciate. Because trust when I say this poor couple behind me had no idea. They were still unloading their groceries! I had visions of them inching their cart forward while their feet slipped out from under them.

I make it home just in time to order pizza before the kids start asking (demanding) “What’s for dinner?”

And then, I somehow sat in cat urine.

But that is nowhere as interesting as the CLEAN UP ON REGISTER FIVE story.

So, we will just leave that alone.

Happy New Year Vodka Callers!

Make it a good one.


Wet floor sign and mop on white background



One thought on “The One Before New Years Eve 2018

  1. Haaa I’m sorry but I was laughing the whole time while reading this. I’m sure it wasn’t funny at the time, but is it too soon to look back at it and laugh now? You will forever be stressing a repeat when you go into that store. I also HATE grocery shopping. Thankfully my husband kind of likes it so he does most of it. I still have not tried the whole Walmart order online pick up thing, but im seriously thinking about it. I hope your week gets better!! Do not let this determine how the New Year will be for you!! 💪

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