The Last Laugh.

This was a story that I never got around to telling. It happened the day Blink passed away. Up until now, it was just too hard for me to revisit. That’s the beauty of time though. In time, things do get easier.


It was a horrible weekend here in the Vodka Calling household. As most of you know, we lost our beloved cat unexpectedly. It was a huge, sad loss. One that will take us some time to recover from. I would not trade a day that I had with Blink, but you guys know, losing a pet, it hurts us to our core.

I always referred to Blink as the OG (original gangster) of our cats. He did what he wanted to do when he wanted to and how he wanted to, but he was super smart. I believe most cats are pretty smart, they just like hiding their smartness from us. Not Blink. Blink always knew our schedules. As soon as we drove up into the parking lot, Blink would come strolling along giving us a look “Finally, took you long enough.” He was a pretty badass cat, one we will never forget.

Saturday we lost him. As I said it was unexpected, but forgive me for not being able to share the details. It is too hard.

During the course of this living hell, Blink accidentally bit Joe while at the vet. it was not intentional. Blink was in tremendous pain, Joe was trying to calm him. We were quickly informed that Joe needed to go to the ER as soon as possible because Blink bit the joint on Joe’s hand, and who knew, apparently that is a big deal?

Joe, Vinnie and I knew we had to do one of the hardest things ever. We had to put Blink to rest. He was in pain, and there was no hope, even though the three of us wanted nothing more than to cling on to hope.

Blink quickly passed. We were all able to say our good-byes.

I am home with the kids, Joe is in the ER and everyone is just done. Our mourning period had begun.

Joe called me from the ER and told me that he was going to be awhile, the place was packed, and apparently, they do not take cat bites seriously, even though our vet told us that if a cat bites you in the joint of your hand, an infection can quickly spread. Also, Joe spent 3.00 on the debit card to buy an elderly woman a bottle of water from the vending machine. As I am writing this, I still have no idea how it came about that he spent 3.00 on his debit card for a bottle of water, but that’s my husband for you.

I decided there was no way in hell I was cooking, yet I needed to feed the kids something. They had a long hard day, there was no way I was going to force my cooking on them. Otherwise, they may have joined Joe in the ER.

Pizza it is! I called in my usual order and took my place on the sofa. I was multitasking, and by multitasking, I mean crying while stuffing my face with chocolate.

Ten minutes later Joe comes home. They gave him a tetanus shot and a round of antibiotics. Joe jumps in the shower, Vinnie was in his room devastated, the girls were in their room asleep, I was still on the sofa crying….and eating.

While Joe was in the shower. There was a loud, annoying knock at the door. I forced myself up, wiped the tears from my face, the chocolate from my mouth and opened the door. It was the pizza guy.

This was a new guy, or shall I say, new kid. He was tall, very tall, but young. Like does he go to school with Gracie young?

Pizza Guy~ Hi! I have your pizza, but do you want to see something cool?

I am thinking to myself that maybe I racked enough points to get a free pizza.

Me~ Umm….okay. Do I have enough points for a free pizza?

Pizza Guy~ I have a video on my phone of me skateboarding. You got to see it!

I am confused. Maybe I heard him wrong? I am not myself, I am on the verge of a state of depression and perhaps I am not hearing things correctly.

He grabs his phone.

Pizza Guy~ This will just take me a minute.

Okay, so I guess I did hear him correctly.

I have my foot propped on the door so the cats will not run outside. I quickly turn around to see if Joe, Vinnie, hell anyone else is there to make sure I am not losing my mind, and also hoping that I have some extra hands for what I hope is a free pizza.

There was no one. And, by the looks of it, there was no free pizza.

Of course not.

Pizza Guy~ Check this out, I made this move up on my own.

He then turns himself so he is standing in front of me, am almost shoulder to shoulder next to him. He has four pizzas in one hand, his phone in the other.

Me~ What???? So, there is no free pizza?

Pizza Guy starts to scoot backward. Making sure his phone is in my view, but he is getting a little too close to my door.

Pizza Guy~ Look, did you see it? It’s really cool…also, we do not do free pizzas.

Now I am getting weirded out. I am telling you, he keeps scooting back. Inching closer and closer to me and the protection of my front door. If I did not have my foot firmly in place, homeboy would have been inside my apartment showing me his skateboarding moves in 3D on my hardwood floor.

My mind starts going. I have the girls in the bedroom. Joe is in the shower and Vinnie’s room is too far back for him to hear me. I do not like this. This is a news story waiting to happen.

Me~ Okay, you are weirding me out, what’s going on, can I just have the pizza….and maybe recheck your points, because I think after this I have earned a free one.

Pizza Guy~ I’m sorry I did not mean to weird you out, I just thought you would want to see my video.

Well, now I kinda feel bad. Did I hurt his feelings? I mean he is pretty proud of the skateboarding jump he did in a half an inch of snow……wearing a t-shirt.

He then turns around so he is now facing me, and took a step back.

Pizza Guy~ But you gotta check this move out.

He shows me his phone…..again.

It’s the same exact move.

Me~ Oh yeah, that’s great. So, just to be clear, there is no free pizza?

I am seriously wiping tears from my eyes, while once again checking to see if Vinnie or Joe has made an appearance, and yet I cannot get the idea of a free pizza out of my head, because you know food, especially if it is free, makes everything better.

Pizza Guy~ That was a cool move huh? It was in the snow!

Me~ Yeah, can I just have the pizza, please, and maybe some breadsticks? This order alone gave me 20 points.

Pizza Guy~ Why would you get free breadsticks?

Me~ For the same reason you are showing me a video of you  in the “snow.”

Pizza Guy then realizes he forgot the receipt that I need to sign.

Pizza Guy~ I’m just going to take the pizzas with me to my car while I grab your receipt. Be right back!

Yeah, because I am going to steal four pizzas with a wannabe Tony Hawk at my doorstep.

I closed the door, locked it, ran to Vinnie’s room.

“Vinnie! You need to come out here, Pizza Guy is weird, just stand with me when he comes back.”

Vinnie jumps up. He is a mess, tear-stained eyes, just a mess. He is hurting. But, he gets up. He follows me. As soon as we pass the girls’ room, Vinnie opens their door and locks it from inside.

“Do not come out until we come to get you!”

I was confused, but whatever, I just needed him by my side dealing with the pizza guy.

Vinnie, me, and the pizza guy all get to the door at the same time.

Pizza Guy~ Just sign this then I can give you your pizzas.

I sign the receipt.

Pizza Guy~ Here ya go. Enjoy your pizzas and tell people about my video! Who is that?

Pizza guy is looking at Vinnie as Vinnie comes to grab the pizzas.

Me~ Umm, that’s my son.

Pizza Guy~ Do you think he would want to see my video?

I look at Vinnie with my “See, I told you so look!”

Vinnie~ I’m good bro.

Pizza Guy leaves, a bit disappointed it seems.

I close the door, looking at Vinnie. Vinnie looks at me.

Me~ What was that?!?!

Vinnie~ He was trying to game you.

Disclaimer, I have no idea what “game you” means.

Vinnie then gets the pizzas situated. Joe comes out of the shower (Finally!) and I proceed to tell them my story about how the pizza guy wanted me to watch videos of him skateboarding in the snow.

It was all just so, strange.

Joe and Vinnie make a plate of pizza while I am pouring drinks.

My phone rings. It is my sister calling to check on me. I make my way out to the balcony to talk to her. We talked and I cried. It just sucks, ya know?

After about twenty minutes, we say our goodbyes, I pull myself together, and go back inside.

“Where are the girls? They did not want to eat?”

Joe and Vinnie look at me with blank stares.

“Usually they are out by now.”

More blank stares.

“You know, Gracie and Sofia, your daughters and sisters.”

Vinnie snaps himself out of whatever trance he had himself in. “Oh crap!”

He quickly makes his way to their room, with me not far behind.

Vinnie knocks on their door, “Hey, you guys can open the door now!”

Sofia opens the door. “Finally, I smell pizza and you said not to come out!”

And, there you go. We can file this under “The time I forgot about my children #539”

Remember, Vinnie locked their bedroom door from the inside and told them not to come out until someone came to get them? A pretty genius move if I say so myself. What was not so genius was us forgetting about them. #LessonLearned.

The girls are finally able to enjoy room temperature pizza. Joe, Vinnie and I make sure to tell them they did exactly the right thing by not coming out. I explained to them we just want to always make sure they are safe, and sometimes by making sure they are safe means they have to be very quiet and not come out. It sucks, but that is how it needs to be.

As we are all enjoying pizza, reflecting on Blink and his time with us, questioning on if we did the right thing, yet knowing there was no other way, there was a comfortable silence.

Vinnie~ That was weird Mom. The pizza guy and everything, it was just weird.

*Long Pause*

Me~ I will tell you what it was… was Blink, trying to get the last laugh that’s what it was.

Little Bastard.

And for the record, the Pizza Guy forgot my damn soda!








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