Gracie had a pretty good day today. This was the first day of her returning to school since her seizure. She was nervous. I mean think about it. She had a seizure in the middle of the foyer at school, fell down, and was then taken by ambulance. Who wouldn’t be nervous going back to school?
When the seizure happened, her backpack was left behind. Clearly. Gracie was so worried about getting her backpack back. For her birthday, Sofia picked out a beautiful butterfly key chain for Gracie. She loved it, and knew the perfect spot for it. On her backpack. When everything had settled down, the only thing Gracie really cared about was her backpack with the butterfly key chain.
We get to her school and I explain to Gracie that I have to walk in with her so we can talk to the nurse about her medicine. Gracie and I make the long walk from the parking lot to the front doors. There’s a lot of people around. Teachers and students. Usually Gracie will wait until the bell rings before she makes the walk. However, today was different, we had to be there early which meant dealing with the crowds of other students.
“I am so embarrassed Mom.”
My heart sunk. I figured she would worry about how people would look at her. Would they remember “She is the girl who had a seizure.” Middle school kids can be cruel.
“It’s okay Gracie, we can do this!”
I know, not much of a pep talk. My main goal was to get her inside the school with the least amount of anxiety possible.
“Mom, I am embarrassed because I am walking with my mother.”
Well, alrighty then!
As soon as we went into the office, the attendance secretary saw Gracie. She reached under her desk and handed Gracie her backpack, with the butterfly key chain still intact. Gracie was now happy, while I am still wondering why it is she embarrassed to walk with me?!?!
Gracie and I speak to the school nurse. The school has a plan in place if God forbid Gracie were to have a seizure in class. Please God, do not let this happen.
We leave the office and have to go back out into the common are, where all the students are waiting for the bell to ring. Hundreds of students. I asked Gracie if she wanted me to walk her to class.
“No, I am good.”
And I stood there. I watched her from a safe distance as she maneuvered her way through 6th, 7th and 8th grade students. I kept my eye on her, waiting to jump in incase she needed me. Incase some little punk would say something to her. I watched her. I watched her go through those double doors to her classroom, I watched her independence. I saw her taking on new terriority….and she did it. She did it.
Me…..not so much. Once I saw she was safely through those double doors on the way to her 6th grade classroom, it was now my tun to make way to the front doors. Make my way through 6th 7th and 8th graders.
It only took a second. As I was going through the double doors that led out into the parking lot, some girl, I would guess an 8th grader, runs into me. This was not an accident. She runs into me hard…..and I may have lost it.
I quickly turned around “Jesus Christ do you NOT see me here?!” The girl may have been taken back. We are standing there, face to face, for a good 8 seconds, looking at each other. Most likely thinking thoughts that we not dare to say. Because I am old enough to be her mother, I decided to be the bigger person and turn around and continue my walk to my car.
And then, just like back when I was in middle school, the talking started. I could hear it behind me. Her friends were now joining in.
“I do not know who she thinks she is”
“She is lucky we are not on the street.”
This would be the part where I pretty much lost it. I quickly turned around, took a step on my pedestal and just let it all out.
“Excuse me, is there a problem here? Is there something you want to say to my face, or should we go back in and have a conversation with the principal? I mean I just saw him, I know he is not that far off……and really, why are you going to talk about “seeing me on the street” I mean what does that even mean? Who do you think you are?! I am older and wiser and pretty much know you are trying to act all “street” to show off for your three follower of friends, who are looking at us right now. So here I am, street or not, what do you have to say to me other than an apology for running in to me.”
“Yeah, so next time you want to show off for your friends, show off with kindness, be kind, be a nice person, because if you are going to come at me with anything other than that….well then I am bored, and have other things to do.”
Tomorrow, it may be I who is in the principal’s office.
I do not know who to be more afraid of….the principal or Gracie.