There are times in your life when you wish you could be anywhere but where you are at. This was one of those times.
I saw Scotty walk in the door. With tears falling down his face, he came over to me. I stood up. I didn’t know what to do. I was thinking of things I could say. “Sorry for your loss” (Lame) “Are you okay?” (Duh, his best friend and brother-in-law just died, how the hell do you think he’s feeling) I just wanted to say something helpful. Instead, he grabbed me and hugged me. He really hugged me. Here I am holding the man that had lied to me for months and had lead me on. He was a mess. He was crying, his body shaking and expecting me to comfort him. And guess what…I did. That is what a “fixer” does.
The next few days were spent helping Shawn, Scotty and the family. I spent some nights with Shawn because she didn’t want to be alone in her big, new house that her and husband had just bought. She needed someone there with her and that was me.
Scotty wanted me to help him put together picture collages of his beloved brother-in-law. I did everything he needed. I did it because I wanted to but also because there was a small glimmer of hope that maybe we could work things out. I had seen another side of him; a side I wanted to see more of.
Soon after the memorial, Scotty called me. He wanted to talk. I knew from the tone of his voice this wouldn’t be a “good” talk. But I obliged anyways and met him at the Starbucks down the street. He was sitting at the table in the corner. I sat down across from him. He grabbed my hands. I remember looking down at my nails and thinking “it’s a good thing I just got my nails done”. Welcome to my random and sometimes ridiculous thoughts.
“I’m really sorry about everything” I felt my guard go up. I wasn’t going to let him see any emotion. “It’s ok” I said, void of any feeling. “I know I’ve been a real asshole. You are a really great girl. Maybe in the future we can see what happens, but not now. I am trying to get my shit together.” I wanted to scream” WHY NOT NOW? WHY NOT ME?” But I didn’t. Instead I mumbled something about understanding where he is coming from and I hope he finds what he is looking for. “I’m moving to Tennessee” And that was that. We hugged and said goodbye. We parted ways and that would be the last time I ever saw him.
I will always be somewhat grateful for the lessons that Scotty taught me when I was 21. He put me in situations that I will never witness again in my lifetime. He also made me realize that just because people have potential to be something better, this does not always guarantee that will happen. Lesson learned. Maybe. “Life’s about changing, nothing ever stays the same” Those lyrics from one of my all-time favorite songs couldn’t be truer.
Alphonso told us he was leaving. He told us he was going to live with Pat. What did I miss? I am always the last to know everything! All I really heard was “ride” “Yakima” “Pat” “relationship” Once again, I guess that was that.
Jen was emotional when saying good-bye to Alphonso. That’s an understatement. She was balling her eyes out, holding on to him for dear life. I held it together a little bit better. It would just be me and Alphonso making the trip to Yakima. We would deal with the emotions later. After ripping Jen off of Alphonso, we were off.
Alphonso was pretty quiet. I was too. Memories of all the adventures Alphonso and I had begun to flood my thoughts. Like the time we were at Barnes and Noble at 10pm on a Saturday night a couple years ago. “Chrissy, let’s go to Hollywood” “Hollywood?! “ “Yeah let’s go now.” “Ok, lets go. “ Talk about spontaneous. 15 minutes later and a tank full of gas we were on the highway headed south. We drove all night and in the morning as the sun came up, we hit Santa Monica Blvd. We went to the Santa Monica Pier and walked on the beach. We went and saw the stars on the Hollywood walk of fame. But the highlight of the trip was seeing The Beverly Wilshire Hotel where the movie “Pretty Woman” was filmed. My life was complete seeing this.
Alphonso and I definitely had the same taste in adventures. Alphonso was with me when I went to a club for the first time. The music was so loud. I remember thinking to myself “is it possible for ears to bleed” because it felt like they were. Definitely not my kind of club. Alphonso and I got matching tattoos by a world renowned tattoo artist named “Pinky” Unfortunately by the time we got our tattoos by Pinky, he was 90 years old and blind. But that’s okay. I loved our matching Chinese writing tattoos we got on the seedy side of San Francisco. Most importantly, Alphonso had been there when no one else was.
We pulled up to the grey mobile home in the middle of nowhere. “Is this it” I asked. “This is it” Alphonso replied. I sensed some hesitation in his voice. We got out and I helped him get his stuff out of the car. “You can call me anytime and I will come get you” I had to put that out there. “Ok” he said with some sadness in his eyes. He was trying to hide it but I saw a glimpse. We hugged and said our goodbyes.
I knew that wouldn’t the last of Alphonso. I knew that we would see him again. I just didn’t know when.
One thought on “Adventures of Apt. B-303 How Can I Help You To Say Goodbye?”
Again… Sad moments…