* All typos are sponsored by Vodka exhaustion.

So, the kids are on Spring Break.

Yes, thank you. I know you feel my pain.

I have been trying very hard to keep the kids busy, and productive, without spending a whole lot of money. Easier said than done.

Today’s activities involved a dentist appointment for Sofia. This is how it works. The dentist office knows all the school kids are on Spring Break. Yesterday they made all the necessary phone calls to us parents who have somehow forgotten about the yearly teeth cleaning. Up until today I thought it was a pretty good idea. I was actually excited when the office manager called me yesterday for my “reminder” phone call.

 “Oh perfect, yeah, we will come in tomorrow, I love this, now she wont have to miss any school, thanks for the reminder.”

I figured after the appointment we would grab a quick lunch, run to the store for some odds and ends, and then to the park we go. Funny how things never work out how you play them out in your head.

Today we all slept in just a bit. Instead of waking up at 6:30 am, we woke up at 6:45 am. So that was fun. I enjoyed my usual routine of watching old I Love Lucy and The Golden Girl episodes. Got a kick watching my girls re enact a scene with Rose and Blanch. Only, in this particular scene Rose called Blanche a slut, so when Gracie called Sofia a slut, I found myself answering the “What is a slut question?” by responding with the all time favorite “I do not know, ask dad.”

Then the usual, baths, get dressed, you know the deal. Off we go to the dentist. A plus, Sofia is used to this, little nervous, but nothing she cannot handle.

We arrive, on time, I fill out the 20 pages of paperwork to “update information” even though nothing had changed since my last visit.

This particular dentist only sees children, so the waiting room kinda puts Chuck E Cheese to shame. There are video games, legos, a playhouse, a beautiful fish tank, t.v that is always on Disney. I mean I would not be surprised if some parents make extra unnecessary appointments  just to bring their kids here to hang out, and enjoy a moment or two of peace and quiet. The waiting room is seriously THAT cool. Not that I would ever do that or anything.

Then I received a text message from my 13 yr old. “Mom, I have something to tell you but I think you will get mad”

Keep in mind, I just left him. He was home. He had plenty of opportunity to tell me whatever it was that was going on. Unless of course he planned it this way. He knew if he told me this news over text message while I was at the dentist with the girls, that surely I would not freak out in the waiting room.

After I made sure the cats were okay, I demanded to know what was going on. Cats were fine, so between you and me, I was good.

So my son had the brilliant idea of piercing his own ears. Why he did not just ask me to take him, I have no clue? However, what I did tell him was it is now his responsibility to make sure his ears do not get infected.

Back to Sofia, she was in and out fairly quickly. No issues there. Well, there was one issue with Gracie. When the Dental Assistant came out with Sofia, she had given Sofia a bag of goodies. Tooth brush, tooth paste, dental floss, and a sticker. Sofia gave Gracie the dental floss, which Gracie decided to use as a ball. She was throwing the dental floss up and down, while I was talking to the assistant, and, well, Gracie’s aim is not the best, and she hit the dental assistant.

Time for lunch. Burger King was right up the road and who does not love a good ole whopper? Lunch went off pretty well, other than when it started to rain, and right there in the middle of Burger King Gracie belts out “ARE YOU KIDDING ME, IT’S RAINING. GREAT, JUST GREAT, NOW I CANNOT GO TO THE PARK, THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT SOFIA!”

Off to the store. I literally only needed three things. Hot dog buns, chili and soda (for my vodka!) I left the store with a shopping cart full of junk.

Get to the checkout. Everything was good. I mean the usual happened. Girls fighting over who puts what on the belt. Also, they just learned how to do cartwheels, and for whatever reason they felt like every customer and store employee in Fred Meyer needed to see their cartwheel, so, that was fun.

Have I mentioned this is only day 2 of Spring Break?