I am one of those people who loves to eat, and it’s not the good stuff. We are talking cookies, chips, french fries, burgers, hoagies, pasta. Pretty much anything that is not a fruit or veggie.
I am also one of those people that looks for any occasion to eat. “Oh, it’s the weekend, lets celebrate!” “Your birthday is coming up, what shall I cook?” “Only 4 more months till Thanksgiving, lets work on the menu, I will make cookies while we do that!”
And, even the not so good occasions. “Let me cook you something nice, you had a bad day at work” “Oh, bad grade on your test, I can make you a sandwich?” “You broke up with your boyfriend, lets go to dinner”
and even one I am not so proud of….car breaks down, and all I care about is if we are still able to go to Red Robbin.
I have struggled with bulimia (did not take a genius to figure that one out, huh?) It is not an easy disease. it takes over everything. One day I will talk about it more in detail, but not just yet.
Anyway, that is the habit I need to change. The way I look at food. The way I can take any emotion. Happy, sad, anger, depressed, and assume that one way or another food will help. Sometimes it does. I wont lie, but it helps for the wrong reasons.
Doing low carb has helped me tremendously. Also, about once every two weeks I “allow” myself to eat whatever I want to eat….with no guilt.
But, it’s still there. I am learning, I am a work in progress.
So, when I see my bad habit wanting to come out and play, I distract myself (and no, not with a candy bar!)
I am learning to re train myself on how I see food.
Now, vodka, that’s a different story.
Writing prompt from Mama Kat’s Writers Workshop