I am one of those people who loves to eat, and it’s not the good stuff. We are talking cookies, chips, french fries, burgers, hoagies, pasta. Pretty much anything that is not a fruit or veggie.
I am also one of those people that looks for any occasion to eat. “Oh, it’s the weekend, lets celebrate!” “Your birthday is coming up, what shall I cook?” “Only 4 more months till Thanksgiving, lets work on the menu, I will make cookies while we do that!”
And, even the not so good occasions. “Let me cook you something nice, you had a bad day at work” “Oh, bad grade on your test, I can make you a sandwich?” “You broke up with your boyfriend, lets go to dinner”
and even one I am not so proud of….car breaks down, and all I care about is if we are still able to go to Red Robbin.
I have struggled with bulimia (did not take a genius to figure that one out, huh?) It is not an easy disease. it takes over everything. One day I will talk about it more in detail, but not just yet.
Anyway, that is the habit I need to change. The way I look at food. The way I can take any emotion. Happy, sad, anger, depressed, and assume that one way or another food will help. Sometimes it does. I wont lie, but it helps for the wrong reasons.
Doing low carb has helped me tremendously. Also, about once every two weeks I “allow” myself to eat whatever I want to eat….with no guilt.
But, it’s still there. I am learning, I am a work in progress.
So, when I see my bad habit wanting to come out and play, I distract myself (and no, not with a candy bar!)
I am learning to re train myself on how I see food.
Now, vodka, that’s a different story.
Writing prompt from Mama Kat’s Writers Workshop
5 thoughts on “A bad habit that I would like to break”
Wow. I'm sure it is hard. Not easy at all. So sorry you have that struggle, and I sincerely send you my best wishes in success. One day at a time… Visiting you from MamaKat's!
So many women, myself included, have weight and eating issues. I'm sorry that you have had the added burden of Bulimia!
I totally get what you're saying here. I have used food as a reward, a distraction, whatever, my whole life. Over the past three years I think I've gotten closer to figuring it out. I'm not there yet, but I'm closer. Keep fighting the good fight!
My husband pointed out one day that everything I eat has a bar code (meaning no fresh fruits or vegetables). I've been struggling with a 10 pound weight gain due to meds I am on. I have found that using a phone app helps me a lot. I use Lose It, but there are several out there. I always THINK I know how many calories I've consumed in a day, but I grossly underestimate it. By using Lose It, it's right there in front of me. And I sometimes don't eat things because I don't want to go to the trouble of looking it up and entering it, so I guess that's a win! Good luck to you!
I've been struggling with looking at food differently too. My husband recently got into cross fit and Paleo eating and I've learned a lot from him about food and it's forced me to change the way I cook a bit. Which is good. Although he'll never get me in a cross fit gym. 🙂 And I agree with Dyanne, I use My Fitness Pal app and it has really opened my eyes to the food I'm eating.