5.) Share an embarrassing moment
A few weeks ago my family came out here, to Seattle, for our once a year reunion.
And…I just happen to have a picture to prove it……kind of.
near the Space Needle, my sister, brother and brothers boyfriend.
So I am sure all of you are wondering why I am not in the picture. Right?
I said RIGHT???
I wish I had an answer to that. All I remember is
1. No one asked me to be in the picture
2. I “may have” been forced to take a picture with my husband for my new Facebook profile pic.
Well, the other day, my brother posted the above picture on Facebook. He said something about what an epic pic it is blah blah blah.
With my quick witty humor I left a comment along the lines of “Oh, you should photo shop me in this pic, you know, me, the FORGOTTEN sister”
and because my brother knows I can be a tad bit dramatic at times, he shot back with “Well, take a picture of yourself jumping in the air and I will see what I can do”
I only needed to be told once.
I am home, by myself. Husband is at work, kids are safely at school, just me and my cats. I can totally take a picture of myself jumping in mid air, and send it to my brother in hopes that he would photo shop me in. Easy enough, right?
As I am surveying my living room (I cannot take the picture outside, people may actually see me) I realize that I need to clean. Because otherwise, the background of my jumping in the air picture will be of old Halloween decorations surrounded by laundry and cats.
I quickly made an executive decision. If I put a chair in front of the sliding glass door and jump off the chair, then it will kinda look like I am outside, and no one will see the mess.
I had a plan!!!
A little too excited, I moved my computer chair to the front of the sliding glass door, opened the curtain, checked it with the camera on my cell. Perfect background! I can so do this.
Slowly I step onto to the chair while my cats are wondering exactly what it is I am trying to accomplish.
I extend one arm as far as it can go, cell phone in hand. With my other arm I kinda sorta just throw it in the air as I jump of the computer chair and snap the pic.
The picture was a big blurry mess.
Five takes later, I was not getting anywhere. All big blurry messes.
So I had another idea.
What if I just pretend to jump in the air. Not really jump, but pretend, so to the untrained eye, it looks as if I may be jumping. Kinda like this.
me, pretending to jump in the air
Yes, I know, do not even say it….another FAIL.
I HAD to get this shot. No questions asked, I just HAD to. The same way I HAVE to have my coffee in the morning.
One last time. Up on the chair, arm extended, the other arm is doing some kind of fake pose and here……..I ……….go………….Ouch!!!!
For some reason I did not land on my feet as I had previously done. Well, I did, but only for a second, and then, I fell.
I do believe at this point even my cats were laughing at me.
As I was trying to get up, I realized my ankle did not feel right. Actually, it kind of hurts. And….I cannot stand on my own. I need the chair to brace myself.
I end up sitting down in the chair, slowly and painfully I take off my adorable new knee high boots and realize my ankle is incredibly swollen.
This cannot be happening to me. I still have to pick the kids up from school, go grocery shopping. I can probably get out of cleaning, because I am a master at that, but still.
Slowly, I limp my way to the kitchen, grab some ice and figure out a plan B.
Guess what, there is no Plan B.
I make it through the remainder of the day by sitting on the sofa, watching old episodes of The Real Housewives of New York and icing my ankle.
It did no good.
I pick up the kids from school. Of course I get the “Hahaha, Mommy can’t walk” bit.
Then comes the part that I am dreading.
I have to go pick up my husband from work. Now, I am thinking if I get there early enough, I can quickly switch from the drivers seat to the passengers seat without him noticing that I am now limping. Of course I will have to bribe the girls to keep their mouth shut, but food will take care of that.
Once again, FAIL.
The only time in history my husband is ever off early, was today. He is seriously out in the parking lot waiting for me.
There is just no getting out of this one.
As I open the drivers side door, I slowly (and painfully!) make my way out, and walk around to the passengers side while my husband gets in.
Joe~ What did you do? Why are you limping?
Me~ Well……I think I sprained my ankle.
Joe~ What? How did you do that, are you okay?
Me~ Oh yeah, I am fine, sore but fine.
Joe~ How did you sprain your ankle?
*insert laughter from the girls*
Me~ I just fell.
(what does he mean “again?” It has been a good three months or so since I last sprained my ankle)
Me~ Yeah…again. (??)
Joe~ The cats?
Me~ Umm, no, not this time
Joe~ Are you going to tell me or not?
Me~ I was jumping and landed wrong, no big deal. I think it was my boots, if I had not had my boots on I would have been okay.
Me~ My boots, they are new and I am still breaking them in, and they are a little tight. If I was not wearing my boots I think it would have been fine.
Joe~ You were jumping?
Me~ Yes, jumping.
Joe~ Did you go to the gym?
Me~ What? The gym? When have I ever gone to the gym? The gym in my boots? See, you’re not listening to me again, my boots sprained my ankle!
Joe~ oh…yeah….the boots…..not your jumping or anything.
Joe~ And just because we have another 5 min to kill before we get home, can you explain to me where you were jumping from/
Me~ A chair.
Joe~ What chair?
Me~ The computer chair.
Joe~ You were jumping on a chair?
Me~ Nooooooo, I was jumping off of a chair, the computer chair.
Joe~ I see
Me~ It sounds worse than it really is.
Me~ Yes, I was trying to get my brother to photo shop me into a pic, but I had to be in mid air jumping, so that’s what I was trying to do, off the computer chair because I did not want to go outside and have people see me. I did it a few times and no issues, except the pic was blurry and I had to re take it, but then the last time, something went wrong……my boots, and I fell, and now my ankle hurts, and I am not in a good mood so can we talk about something else? How was work?
Joe~ Do you need to go to a Dr?
Me~ No, I am fine, I just need to ice it, and someone needs to do the dishes.
Joe~ Okay….but I was thinking more along the lines of maybe a mental health Dr?
me~ So how long were you just waiting to use that line?
and there you have it. my most recent embarrassing moment…..which ironically happened just three days ago.