If there was ever a need for vodka…..

The Saturday before Easter we went over to my husbands family house for a get together. My husbands sister and her husband had just moved into a new home. We would spend the day just hanging out,doing prayer and later some karaoke ( FYI I have mastered Elvis Presley’s “In The Ghetto”)

I have been married for about 7 years now. It has taking me a long time to feel comfortable with this family. My in laws are old school Samoan, and for the longest time I felt that they had wished their youngest son would have married a Samoan girl. But he got me instead!

They are good people,just old school.

All was going well. Everyone was enjoying themselves, my kids were actually behaving and not embarrassing me.

And then, it was time for prayer.

My husbands family and I have slightly different religious beliefs, so anytime prayer goes on I participate from a safe distance. I took a seat at their kitchen bar, which faces into their living room. The grandparents my sister in law and her son were sitting on the sectional, along with an Aunt. Joe and my kids were sitting on the floor. From my spot, I could see everything yet remain at a comfortable distance.

My brother in law also was at the kitchen bar. I am just going to assume he feels the same way I do, not that that is important to my little story.

My father in law started things out by having everyone sing some Samoan songs. I do not know how to speak Samoan so I usually just sit there and pretend someone very important called me.

After the singing, father-in-law asked the kids if they know what the true meaning of Easter is.

Silence.

I just knew that my 11 yr old (Vinnie) would come up with something spiffy such as “The real meaning of Easter is about the Easter Bunny”

I was ready for it, I had already planned my exit if any mention of the Easter Bunny came out of his mouth.

However,this is not how it happened.

All of a sudden, little Gracie (7) decides to tell my in laws, as loud as she can “MOM AND DAD WERE FIGHTING LAST NIGHT”

Just shoot me now.

I bury my head under my arms, while the room fills with that awkward kind of laughter. The kind where you just laugh to fill the silence,not because anything is really funny.

Again….

“I SAID MOM AND DAD WERE FIGHTING LAST NIGHT”

insert more pretend laughter.

My brother in law who is also with me at the bar is trying his hardest not to laugh “Boy, Gracie is really trying to throw you under the bus huh?”

“Shut up Mike”

Joe discreetly told Gracie to pretty much shut up.

“I SAID MOM AND DAD WERE FIGHTING LAST NIGHT A THEN THEY WERE GOING TO MAKE A BABY”

Oh my god where does this kid come up with this stuff? Like does her 7 yr old brain plot ways to humiliate me, in front of my in laws of all people?!

I just know my mother in law is probably thinking what kind of woman did her son marry?

“MOM AND DAD WERE FIGHTING AND MAKING BABIES”

It was then that my father in law decided who really cares what the true meaning of Easter is, lets eat!

At that point,I did not care about food. I left Joe to tend to the kids,I heard my vodka calling and I was gong to find it.

This was a writing prompt from Mama Kat’s Writers Workshop. I chose the prompt Write about a time your child embarrassed you in public.

Mama’s Losin’ It

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15 thoughts on “If there was ever a need for vodka…..

  1. Oh, my! You have to admire the honesty of children, at least their interpretation of honesty! And you also have to wonder where their little brains come up with the interpretations! Too funny…at your expense, of course!

  2. So… forever more……when the real meaning of Easter is mentioned in that family….. images of you and Joe fighting and then making babies will be conjured up…..
    Not exactly Biblical, but pretty damned funny!

  3. I would die. Die. Die. Die. My son once asked my dad if he'd like a snack of mommy milk (that's what he called breast milk when I was nursing my youngest: mommy milk snacks) because I had plenty. Gag at the thought.

  4. Well….at least she should be grateful that mommy and daddy make up, right? As for where she gets it….I have no idea. And when I prayed for my children to not be shy like I was I don´t think I knew what I was doing!

  5. That was great! Looking forward to the day my 1 year old daughter can embarrass me as well…and ps, my husband's family is Norwegian and they do a prayer in Norwegian every holiday…I sit there and pretend to know some of it!

  6. OH wow! I can't stop giggling…this so reminds me of my nephew. He wants everyone to know EVERYTHING, so when he visits, I get the entire story. God bless him and Gracie! ♥ Lol

  7. Oh, This is so funny. I know it was not funny at the time for you. I can only imagine. At least FIL gave up on the meaning of easter convo.

    stopping by from #FlashbackFriday

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