Every week Kate Bouska has a list of writing prompts for those of us that need a little extra push with…writing. I decided to get back in the swing of things, as I need that little extra push. Go figure.
I chose the prompt “Write about something funny a sibling said to you.” Except, in pure “Jen Form,” I am switching it up a little. If I were to write about something funny my sibling said to me, we would be here all night. Also, since this post will go on Facebook, I may run the risk of them deleting me. Assuming they actually read my blog, which they don’t. I know this because every time I write a blog, I have to call them up 2-3 days later and ask “Did you read my blog?” It is at this point they play dumb. “What blog, you posted a blog, I must have missed it.”
So, in the off chance that they actually do read this blog, I am changing the prompt slightly to “Something funny I said to my sibling…this week.”
First up. My brother. A quick recap. My brother joined the Navy about two years ago? I do not remember, and since my brother does not read my blogs, he cannot correct me if I am wrong. He went from boot camp, to school to deployment, and is now safely stationed on the west coast. So…..imagine my surprise when I saw this picture with the following caption on Facebook.
“An unforgettable day, being flown on to the carrier [our new home] in the middle of the Arabian Sea. We had no clue what we were getting into…#throwback”
As soon as I saw this picture, my heart froze and I HAD to call my brother.
Me~ Oh my God, you answered! What does your Facebook post mean? Where are you, are you in the middle of the ocean?
Brother~ What post, I did not post anything?
Me~ Yes you did, the picture of you and some guy and you are in a plane and you said your new home is in the middle of the Arabian Sea!!!!
Brother~ Well, Jen, if it says “throwback” behind it, then, you know, it is a throwback picture!!!!
* Very long pause.*
Me~ I am an idiot and we will never speak of this again.
My youngest sister.
Where to even begin. She is getting married in April. Actually she is getting married in exactly two months. How exciting, right? Her first wedding. Call me crazy, but one would think that the invites would have already been mailed out, right? Also, one would think at the very least the “Save the Date” cards would be mailed out, right? Wrong!! So, I do what any normal older and wiser sister would do, and I gave her a call.
Youngest Sis~ Hello?
Me~ Hey! A little bird told me you have not even sent your wedding invites out yet. Are you serious? What if no one shows up? I know you, you are going to wait until the last week in March to send them out. You can’t do that, you have to give people more notice. Also, if I were you, I would not even worry about the “Save the Date” I mean at this point what is the point?
Youngest Sis~ Okay MOM!!!!
Me~ Okay, point taken. We will never speak of this again.
My middle sister.
Her and I are so alike it is sometimes scary. We talk about twice a day, every single day. Our husbands sure love that! Her husband if a very experienced maintenance man. He started at the bottom, and worked himself up. He is good at what he does, which is why every time something goes wrong in my ghetto apartment, I give them a call, or, send them a picture of what is wrong, in the hopes that he will tell me how to fix it.
Like last night for example. There is something odd going on in my bathroom. The walls just do not look right. Now, keep in mind I do live in a crappy apartment. It is my goal no matter what to be in a house by October. But, for now, I am living in The Hood.
On my bathroom walls, there was this black stuff. Like little dots all spaced out, everywhere you look. Clearly, this is not normal. So I did what I always do, snapped a picture and sent it to them. Then I get the phone call.
Middle Sis~ Jennifer, that is mold on your wall, that is dangerous for not only you but the children, call you landlord like yesterday!
Me~ So basically what you are saying is this can’t wait until Monday, because I am really busy this week and…..
Middle Sis~ CALL YOUR MAINTENANCE ASAP!
However, and as of this post, I still have not confessed this to my sister, and because she does not read my blog, I have nothing to worry about-so no one tell her!
On closer inspection of my bathroom wall, I noticed something I did not notice when I took the original pic.
Hmmm. Well look at that. All I have to do is blow on the mold and it moves. I did not know mold could move……wait a minute, mold does not move, right? It does not just disappear when you blow on it? Hmmmm…..I wonder, let me just try something…….Oh…look at that……maybe it is not mold. I mean it is coming off with a wet rag. Perhaps this is just some kind of dirt and dust? Perhaps I do not have mold after all? I mean maybe my housekeeping skills need a bit improvement? I am busy during the week, who has the time to inspect walls???? Then when I come home, I have to do dinner and homework and Vodka…….okay, yes, it looks like the walls just need a good dusting/cleaning.
I am an idiot and we will never speak of this again.
Also, we will never tell my sister.