She was sitting at her computer in her tiny three bedroom duplex. It’s barely after 10pm. She has a house full. Any hope of getting any kind of work done is quickly forgotten about. Aside from her own children, there were two toddlers occupying her living room and her space. Not just her physical space, but her mental space too. She was in a bad place. Something needed to give or else she would break.
She remembers when she was a little girl, running around in her childhood home. She accidentally broke her mother’s favorite vase. With the help of her older brother, they quickly glued as much of it as they could back in place. The finished result? Is it possible it looked better than the original? Sure, it was a messy fit, yet, it gave the vase character. Is that what needs to happen to her? Does she need to break so she can be fixed, messy and different, but still in working order, fixed?
Her husband knows how she feels. If anything through this entire mess, she can say she has always been truthful with her husband. She was not happy and something was not working. The glue was becoming unglued, and now, there was no more glue on hand to put the pieces back in place. She understands that her husband is caught between a rock and a hard place. She understands that there are no easy answers, what she did not understand is why he did not just run to the store to buy more glue?
Of course she is fully capable of buying the glue on her own. Maybe that is exactly what needs to happen. She needs to fix what is broken without relying on anyone else to. Then at the end of it all, she can say “I did it, I fixed what needed to be fixed.”
Yet…that did not seem to be enough.